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19yr old mum of 1 and 2yr old needs advice

anggrams

Hi.  As you will see from my profile.  I'm Grandma and my 19 year old received a diagnosis this week that her two year old daughter has autism.  It wasn't a total shock as her sleep, social interaction and speech has been almost none existant and she has been hitting herself since she was one.

I'm so worried about my daughter and the daily issues she faces I don't really know where to start, so thought I'd start with the experts - you people, who have been there and done that.

She is concerned that her one year old has started copying behaviours although she is definately NOT autistic.  She has just begun to throw her food and hit herself and obviously copies her sisters' total tantrums.

Any advice would be so welcome.  I don't live near them and work full-time (though am thinking of going part-time or giving up to help them) and it breaks my heart to see my daughter so shattered and feeling such a failure.

  • Hi anggrams

    I have posted a link below for the NAS advice and information  services.  If your daughter gives the advice line a ring, they will be able to give her loads ofinformation andguidance on what to do next and where she can get help and support.

    http://www.autism.org.uk/our-services/advice-and-information-services.aspx

    Good luck to you all

    Colincat

  • tell you daughter to contact her local welfare rights unit they came to my house and filled in the forms for me. xxx i am also 24 with a young 2 year old with autisim nxxx

  • Sorry - I'm not very good at this yet!!  Just wanted to thank you all for your kind words and advice.  Princessahara, I will pass this advice on as it does all sound highly complicated!  chc - thanks for that.  We do love her very much, just as she is - just anxious to make sure both of them are as happy as possible.  She has had a couple of full nights sleep now - so my daughter is much more positive.  It's easier to be so when you've had some sleep! Many thanks once again. xx

  • Many thanks for that.  It's nice to know she's not alone!  I have said she must ensure her youngest mixes with as many children her own age as poss.

  • Please don't view this as a diaster.  I have three children on the spectrum and they are all wonderful in their own way.  I was shattered when I first found out that my child was autistic and spent many years thinking it was the end of the world....but it wasn't. don't buy into the thinking that autistic children are a tragedy.... they absolutely can learn to live int he world....it just takes skillful parenting.  Please advise your daughter that she must not allow her child to 'get away' with behaviours because she thinks she can't help it.  Your grandchild can learn this stuff...it just needs to be explicity taught rather than assumed.  its just a differnt way of thinking.....stay positive....it will be ok :-)

  • She was telling me today that she'd looked at the form and got part-way through, but didn't know what to write where it says - 'how many hours a week do you care as a result of their condition.' - I had to say that stumped me too!!  24 7 sound too many?!

    Thanks for your thoughts.

  • hi my 4yr old boy is autistic, his little brother who is 2 copies alot from his brother, not becouse hes autistic, they see it as normal, thats how they learn, i do put my little boy right, when he sceams and points that he wants something, ie drink, he will ask then,

  • Hi there.  Thanks for the quick reply - it's good to know there are other young mums out there coping.  Sounds like you have your hands full!  I talked to Em earlier and told her about the site - she's been on it, but not registered yet.  I'll get her to - I know it'll be a relief for her to talk to someone else her own age about it xx