Feeling self conscious

Dont know how to start this...

All my life i have felt self conscious. Even then i am not sure thats the right term? I have never felt comfotable in my own skin. Never been good with words, written or spoken. And now i have joined NAS, and all i do is type short replies to peoples heartfelt post's, never really giving advice, just trying to fit in i suppose.

Its not that i dont care. More i am trying to phrase things right so i dont cause offence. So i say little to hopefully get it right. I just feel i do not have enough knoweledge yet to offer advice on this very wide and complicated subject. Ok i know how i am, how i have problems in certain areas, but the last thing that i want is to cause offence or have someone tell me "You don't know what your on about".

 Its been a long journey to get where i am(my assessment), to hopefully get some answers. Maybe its not ASD, least i'll know.

I am constantly fighting this war inside of me. I want to scream, but can't. People just tell me "you are just you", but i cannot except that. Things scare me. Life scares. People scare me.

Why???

I am so tired, but have trouble sleeping. I get anxious over silly things. I feel invisible sometimes.

I dont know if anyone can relate to this, but i just had to write this.

Thanks for listening guys

Blues

Parents
  • lostmyway said:

    The thing is though, Blues, there are plenty of people who are on the spectrum who are aware of their difficulties but, nevertheless, make a conscious effort to behave like NT's, although this can be quite demanding and tiring.

    OK, so you will have to put on an 'act' but with practice this gets a bit easier and it's better than just thinking you will never be able to fit in. At the end of the day, we are still human beings with a mind and will and it is up to us to change our lot in life.

    There are plenty of famous autistics who haven't allowed their condition to restrict their aspirations.

    I understan what your saying, and your right. I gotta change my negative way of thinking for sure. I've just had a rough week, and was feeling a bit low to be honest. Famous people with ASD?

    Susan boyle, Einstein, issaac newton apparently...

    Got to stop feeling like a victim in all this too, i'm not.

    Thanks lmw

Reply
  • lostmyway said:

    The thing is though, Blues, there are plenty of people who are on the spectrum who are aware of their difficulties but, nevertheless, make a conscious effort to behave like NT's, although this can be quite demanding and tiring.

    OK, so you will have to put on an 'act' but with practice this gets a bit easier and it's better than just thinking you will never be able to fit in. At the end of the day, we are still human beings with a mind and will and it is up to us to change our lot in life.

    There are plenty of famous autistics who haven't allowed their condition to restrict their aspirations.

    I understan what your saying, and your right. I gotta change my negative way of thinking for sure. I've just had a rough week, and was feeling a bit low to be honest. Famous people with ASD?

    Susan boyle, Einstein, issaac newton apparently...

    Got to stop feeling like a victim in all this too, i'm not.

    Thanks lmw

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