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Day of Getting Nowhere

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Having a bit of a difficult time, on going situation with Neighbours come in to play again this morning. After been exhausted from a difficult week, have come to terms with the situation, but still finding it exhausting. Refused neighbor access, after repeatedly saying no, for over 10 minutes. Then a little later I get call from my landlord, saying I was very rude to the neighbour when they asked; I was not rude at all. Basically landlord wants an easy life, so nothing I could do. I have come to terms with the overall situation after discussing it on here before, it still consumes a lot of energy.

Anyway have been trying to get my home in a more tidy state, because it is an absolute mess, and worried it is going to cause problems with the landlord. I try and start to organise some stuff. I collected a load of empty boxes, because I had planned to sell stuff I had collected, because it got so overwhelming to deal with after I found some had got damaged from damp.

My mind just gets continually worried about things, I am stressed with some "new" (25 year old) speakers I bought from a dealer. Only got photos of them yesterday after asking this dealer over 2 months for them. As I had very narrowly missed 3 other pairs which had come up in last couple of years. I felt I had to buy and collect them, otherwise they would just get quickly snapped up.

They are very bulky and heavy, over 50kg each. The dealer was a bit hasty helping me load them in to the car, and I fear he has damaged them as he rested both on the boot lock. We were holding them both, but I couldn't control when he wanted to rest them. Probably have gone through the custom boxes I have for them too.

I asked if I could here them before hand, but said he didn't have the setup to do that. When I arrived, he had plenty of suitable equipment. I thought he would have tested them, but after I paid for them, he told me he didn't test them at all.

Now problem I have is finding someone to give me a hand to lift them out of the car carefully, and help me set them up and relocate my existing pair.

I bought them as they were the version I wanted, to replace a stop gap I purchased last year. I realise I have made a mistake, and these are actually the same version that I have. I don't know why I missed that

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  • Thanks Sox,

    I understand the situation, and have become easier about it. I have done a lot of thinking about on it. I have written a lot here, I am not disagreeing with you, just trying to express my feelings to help me "move on"

    I had agreed with Landlord that for her tennants, I would need notice, and it is only for bulky things, and for notice to be chaneled through her. I have basically said to her that I would handle it differently if I owned the house, but I don't. Its just a stop gap solution until I can find another way forward.

    I don't have a problem been given notice, but it is after that some people just seem to think it is ok to use my garden as they please, even when they don't particularly need to. I have refused recently, to make the communication simpler. 

    I fear being given notice by landlord, what is angering me about this current situation is the implied complaint to my landlord, over something I didn't do. My landlord, said she knows me enough that I wouldn't do that. This is something I feel I need to address with Landlord. I don't feel it is right I should be pressured in this way.

    I did offer a bit of an olive branch this time, by asking some help to move my speakers. They said that would be ok, any time. Left me their telephone number, but implied they would want money to help "he does all odd jobs like that very reasonable rates"

    There is that there is access through neigbours other side, it is a little awkward. I feel it would be fair to share these breach of privacy and inconvenience (can't think of the right words)

    As an aside, before this neighbour bought the house, I found the estate agent ad. It stated in the advert that there was an arrangement in place for access through my garden. I told them to change the advert, which they did.

    The landlord can give me notice, but I don't feel this will fully solve the problem for her. Not that that will make much difference to my situation, other people I have spoken with have been shocked this is happening, including the social worker that visited last week. If may affect me a lot more than another tennant, but I am sure some other tennants would have a problem with it. Particularly if they have children playing in the garden. Probably would be ok to start with, but seeing strangers in your garden on odd occaisions.

    What would solve it for me here, is to have some control on physical access. I feel the fence should be secured. If there was say one panel which could be locked/unlocked in some way. That would at least force the neigbours to ask. I don't know why the panels are not secured like they are on other side of the garden. We get strong winds here, and the panels keep blowing out because they are not secured. Not sure if they landlord wants to do this, but will put it forward to them. I have an idea of how it can be done inexpensively. Might be worth getting a letter together for all involved.

    Ultimately my solution is to move house to resolve this. I don't want to rent from a private landlord, I am looking, not easy with my financial situation, plus on top I can ony get a mortgage up to my retirement age. Finding the right place is crucial, I think I need to be somewhere a little bit more isolated. House prices here have just gone absolutely nuts the past year or so.

    Random

Reply

  • Thanks Sox,

    I understand the situation, and have become easier about it. I have done a lot of thinking about on it. I have written a lot here, I am not disagreeing with you, just trying to express my feelings to help me "move on"

    I had agreed with Landlord that for her tennants, I would need notice, and it is only for bulky things, and for notice to be chaneled through her. I have basically said to her that I would handle it differently if I owned the house, but I don't. Its just a stop gap solution until I can find another way forward.

    I don't have a problem been given notice, but it is after that some people just seem to think it is ok to use my garden as they please, even when they don't particularly need to. I have refused recently, to make the communication simpler. 

    I fear being given notice by landlord, what is angering me about this current situation is the implied complaint to my landlord, over something I didn't do. My landlord, said she knows me enough that I wouldn't do that. This is something I feel I need to address with Landlord. I don't feel it is right I should be pressured in this way.

    I did offer a bit of an olive branch this time, by asking some help to move my speakers. They said that would be ok, any time. Left me their telephone number, but implied they would want money to help "he does all odd jobs like that very reasonable rates"

    There is that there is access through neigbours other side, it is a little awkward. I feel it would be fair to share these breach of privacy and inconvenience (can't think of the right words)

    As an aside, before this neighbour bought the house, I found the estate agent ad. It stated in the advert that there was an arrangement in place for access through my garden. I told them to change the advert, which they did.

    The landlord can give me notice, but I don't feel this will fully solve the problem for her. Not that that will make much difference to my situation, other people I have spoken with have been shocked this is happening, including the social worker that visited last week. If may affect me a lot more than another tennant, but I am sure some other tennants would have a problem with it. Particularly if they have children playing in the garden. Probably would be ok to start with, but seeing strangers in your garden on odd occaisions.

    What would solve it for me here, is to have some control on physical access. I feel the fence should be secured. If there was say one panel which could be locked/unlocked in some way. That would at least force the neigbours to ask. I don't know why the panels are not secured like they are on other side of the garden. We get strong winds here, and the panels keep blowing out because they are not secured. Not sure if they landlord wants to do this, but will put it forward to them. I have an idea of how it can be done inexpensively. Might be worth getting a letter together for all involved.

    Ultimately my solution is to move house to resolve this. I don't want to rent from a private landlord, I am looking, not easy with my financial situation, plus on top I can ony get a mortgage up to my retirement age. Finding the right place is crucial, I think I need to be somewhere a little bit more isolated. House prices here have just gone absolutely nuts the past year or so.

    Random

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