I want to be alone ....

My hobbies and interests are dominated by pursuits that I do alone.  Even my wife being with me I can find irritating and I 'wander off' much to her annoyance!

In my teenage years I was very keen on fishing.  Went fishing all the time, I could tell you the record fish and where it was caught, what year and who caught it.  And although I am inherantly clumsy, I could tie a blood knot and attach a spade-end hook with the dexterity of anyone. And cast out the line very accurately.

When I went to College I lost interest in fishing, although I have 'gone back' to it on odd occasion.  I never found it boring, in fact I found it quite intense.

Team games have never been my thing.  I was always the last person to be chosen when teams were picked at school.  I was always being hit in the face with a cricket ball, in later life I have put this down retrospectively to having a squint and not being able to judge distances.  On the football field I could never co-ordinate my legs to kick the ball with any power.

I took up photography while at College.  This is still my principal interest.  Something creative in me wanting to express itself I suppose.  And although I joined camera clubs, it is still not a team thing.  It took a lot for me to start sharing my pictures and entering competitions, but when I did I did rather well.  There are certain patterns I noticed to photographs even of wildly different subjects, patterns that did not seem apparent to anyone else.  Yes there are 'rules' such as the golden mean, having a lead in to the picture, natural frames, positioning of subjects, etc.  But also some indefinable thing that I could recognise and see similarities.  And digital photography is a godsend, no longer restricted by expense to keep trying.  That is the thing with me.  If something interests me, I keep trying.

Photography led to developing other interests.  I have always enjoyed a walk (or perhaps better described as a 'leisurely stroll'.  And then I took up cycling, regularly riding in excess of fifty miles a day, with my camera.  Unfortunately I have since developed a heart condition which makes me easily breathless so I cannot cycle far anymore.  My cycling was used to explore places, to get to places that I otherwise could not get to (had no car at the time).  This led to an interest in history, old ruins, castles, churches.  And churches has led to an interest in mythical beasts, 'green men', misericords, stained glass and various 'folk art' found in churches in various forms.

Railways have always been an interest since I was young and the steam trains used to thunder past regularly.  I only wish digital photography was available then!  And they are now perhaps my main interest for photography.  You can see some of my pictures on my Flickr Account.

Music wise, my interest in pop music fizzled out in the early seventies.  I am still a fan of the music of Pink Floyd and liked the music of Peter Green's Fleetwood Mac.  Listening to Sounds of the sixties on a Saturday morning I can still remember most of the records, the year and the artist and even the label the record was on.  But I have no idea about modern music such as the Spice Girls and Abba.  At school we used to have singing which included a lot of traditional songs.  Songs like John Barleycorn, Oh No John No and sea shanties.  And traditional songs were also well featured on schools history programmes.  This started me off in a liking for folk music.  And John Peel used to regularly play folk music on his show which introduced me to Martin Carthy, Steeleye Span, Fairport Convention, Shirley and Dolly Collins to name but a few.

was one of the few people at Junior School who actually enjoyed recorder lessons.  I found I could easily pick up the tunes and play them 'by ear'.  I still regularly pick up a recorder and play out a few tunes often without realising what I am doing, and it is a good way of reducing tension but it annoys the neighbours!

When personal computers became popular, I took it on myself to learn typing.  I remember being told I would never make a typist by someone at an employment skill centre.  But with the help of 'Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing' (a very early edition on one floppy disc!) I learned to touch type.  I enrolled at a college and within three months got my Grade 3 RSA with distinction.  It helped me get a job for the first time in 20 years.

I think what I like about my interests is that I do them to my satisfaction.  Team games you try to please someone else and they can get annoyed if they perceive you not to be making an effort.  With solitary pursuits there is one critic only who you must satisfy and that is the most severe critic their is .. oneself!  And it is the pursuit of excellence that keeps me going.

Parents
  • Martian Tom said:

    [quote][/quote]

    This can make you feel even more lonely and isolated than ever because it seems to emphasise the fact that you are unable to 'make contact' (so to speak) with other human beings. At least when I'm alone in my room I don't have to put up with the stress of 'sticking out like a sore thumb' and the need to put on an act of socialbility.

    I only ever feel lonely when I'm with other people.  Especially at work.  I found out yesterday that a whole group of the people I normally work with, and am quite 'friendly' with (in the sense of talking to them and partnering with them for work purposes) are going out for the evening this evening.  Not only that, but they're all going off on a camping trip together soon.  I doubt I'd go on that, but I might have gone this evening.  But I haven't even been asked.  And they talk about it together quite openly.  I feel more and more isolated at work now.  Yet I'm friendly enough, and people seem to like me.  I hope I get this other job.  Trouble is, that'll mean commuting on a bus at peak times. 

    On the other hand, I'm quite happy doing things on my own in public.  I'll go to the beach for a swim on my own, or to a pub.  If there's a pool or snooker table free wherever I am, I'm fine with playing alone.  I think a lot of people play these games alone.  You can always say you're practising or something.

    I don't think they intend to exclude you to be mean, Tom. I just think it's a case of you not 'fitting in' with them on some level, something that isn't your fault or their fault. It's a bloody shame because you're obviously the kind of person who makes an effort to be friendly and sociable but because of some 'quirk' (if I may put it that way - no insult intended) in your make-up, there exists a kind of difference in 'wavelength' between you and them

    You are right Tom. Maybe I should persevere and go out more on my own and try to ignore what other people might be thinking.

Reply
  • Martian Tom said:

    [quote][/quote]

    This can make you feel even more lonely and isolated than ever because it seems to emphasise the fact that you are unable to 'make contact' (so to speak) with other human beings. At least when I'm alone in my room I don't have to put up with the stress of 'sticking out like a sore thumb' and the need to put on an act of socialbility.

    I only ever feel lonely when I'm with other people.  Especially at work.  I found out yesterday that a whole group of the people I normally work with, and am quite 'friendly' with (in the sense of talking to them and partnering with them for work purposes) are going out for the evening this evening.  Not only that, but they're all going off on a camping trip together soon.  I doubt I'd go on that, but I might have gone this evening.  But I haven't even been asked.  And they talk about it together quite openly.  I feel more and more isolated at work now.  Yet I'm friendly enough, and people seem to like me.  I hope I get this other job.  Trouble is, that'll mean commuting on a bus at peak times. 

    On the other hand, I'm quite happy doing things on my own in public.  I'll go to the beach for a swim on my own, or to a pub.  If there's a pool or snooker table free wherever I am, I'm fine with playing alone.  I think a lot of people play these games alone.  You can always say you're practising or something.

    I don't think they intend to exclude you to be mean, Tom. I just think it's a case of you not 'fitting in' with them on some level, something that isn't your fault or their fault. It's a bloody shame because you're obviously the kind of person who makes an effort to be friendly and sociable but because of some 'quirk' (if I may put it that way - no insult intended) in your make-up, there exists a kind of difference in 'wavelength' between you and them

    You are right Tom. Maybe I should persevere and go out more on my own and try to ignore what other people might be thinking.

Children
No Data