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Some Friend

Normalish

Hello there, good afternoon. 

Just popping here to vent, I suppose, because I'm reeling from something my one and only friend said to me in conversation yesterday, and it's absolutely ruined my sleep.

On the topic of my being much too stubborn and unable to accept another person's perspective, she offered her opinion and said, directly, that she feels I use my "autism card" too frequently.

I'm in turmoil as to what to make of that statement. I don't think it's fair, but... Am I the best person to judge? I thought I made a conscious effort not to blame/refer everything on my diagnosis, but... Maybe it's failing?

In a further effort to clarify the comment, she assured me she was only looking to make sure that I was "using the autism as an excuse to act like a *** to people and make out like you're never wrong".

Which... I know even less what to do with...! My head is mashed!

So does anyone have any opinions? Not necessarily to vindicate either of us in that conversation, but perhaps just on how I process such remarks, and what I attempt to respond with!

Thank you, and I hope you're all well.

Dan 

Parents

  • Pleased to have been of help. 

    Reading through this thread again, I started to think about how some relatives and friends find it difficult to accept that a person they know is an Aspie / Autie.

    I had an experience recently where someone tried to encourage me to go to a social event I had already turned down and didn't want to go to. This person has since opened up more about their own issues and I now think that what I misinterpreted as possible manipulation and a lack of understanding of my problems, was actually genuine encouragement to join in with something because they believed it would help me. Possibly they also weren't sure if they would enjoy it and wanted me to be there to talk to.

    I don't actually know what their motivation was, but since learning more about Aspie and NT behaviour, I've started to be able to imagine other scenarios than the conclusion that I immediately jump to, although it may take a while! 

    Also it's important to remember that the NT /Aspie traits are not mutually exclusive. Some people would score mid twenties on the AQ test and have some Aspie traits, maybe some mild anxiety issues in certain situations or one or two sensory issues like not liking a lot of noise or having a keen sense of smell. Maybe these people recognise these traits in themselves when they learn about AS and don't want to recognise this, because their NT side fears it.

    If you want to discuss your AS issues, feel free to post on here any time.  Discussion helps the learning process. 

Reply

  • Pleased to have been of help. 

    Reading through this thread again, I started to think about how some relatives and friends find it difficult to accept that a person they know is an Aspie / Autie.

    I had an experience recently where someone tried to encourage me to go to a social event I had already turned down and didn't want to go to. This person has since opened up more about their own issues and I now think that what I misinterpreted as possible manipulation and a lack of understanding of my problems, was actually genuine encouragement to join in with something because they believed it would help me. Possibly they also weren't sure if they would enjoy it and wanted me to be there to talk to.

    I don't actually know what their motivation was, but since learning more about Aspie and NT behaviour, I've started to be able to imagine other scenarios than the conclusion that I immediately jump to, although it may take a while! 

    Also it's important to remember that the NT /Aspie traits are not mutually exclusive. Some people would score mid twenties on the AQ test and have some Aspie traits, maybe some mild anxiety issues in certain situations or one or two sensory issues like not liking a lot of noise or having a keen sense of smell. Maybe these people recognise these traits in themselves when they learn about AS and don't want to recognise this, because their NT side fears it.

    If you want to discuss your AS issues, feel free to post on here any time.  Discussion helps the learning process. 

Children
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