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Some Friend

Normalish

Hello there, good afternoon. 

Just popping here to vent, I suppose, because I'm reeling from something my one and only friend said to me in conversation yesterday, and it's absolutely ruined my sleep.

On the topic of my being much too stubborn and unable to accept another person's perspective, she offered her opinion and said, directly, that she feels I use my "autism card" too frequently.

I'm in turmoil as to what to make of that statement. I don't think it's fair, but... Am I the best person to judge? I thought I made a conscious effort not to blame/refer everything on my diagnosis, but... Maybe it's failing?

In a further effort to clarify the comment, she assured me she was only looking to make sure that I was "using the autism as an excuse to act like a *** to people and make out like you're never wrong".

Which... I know even less what to do with...! My head is mashed!

So does anyone have any opinions? Not necessarily to vindicate either of us in that conversation, but perhaps just on how I process such remarks, and what I attempt to respond with!

Thank you, and I hope you're all well.

Dan 

Parents
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous

    Another thought...your friend could actually be trying to help you by pointing out behaviours that others will find difficult to deal with. It will not feel like that though.

    We can find some things that muggles will say and do difficult but it goes both ways. We ask them to make allowances and room for us but maybe sometimes we need to do the same for them. My example is asking a woman her age, especially a mature woman. I think "why the hell not?" and "what's that about?" but I know not to because they don't like it. Just because I think (or I actually know) that it should not be a problem does not give me the right to just blurt out "How old are you?" to a woman.

    Navigating all of this can be really tiresome I know and I still have a heck of an ability to plant both feet firmly in my mouth but I do it less as I get older. I'm 52 and still learning this stuff by the way.

    Paul

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous

    Another thought...your friend could actually be trying to help you by pointing out behaviours that others will find difficult to deal with. It will not feel like that though.

    We can find some things that muggles will say and do difficult but it goes both ways. We ask them to make allowances and room for us but maybe sometimes we need to do the same for them. My example is asking a woman her age, especially a mature woman. I think "why the hell not?" and "what's that about?" but I know not to because they don't like it. Just because I think (or I actually know) that it should not be a problem does not give me the right to just blurt out "How old are you?" to a woman.

    Navigating all of this can be really tiresome I know and I still have a heck of an ability to plant both feet firmly in my mouth but I do it less as I get older. I'm 52 and still learning this stuff by the way.

    Paul

Children
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