My Teenage Aspie won't leave the house

My daughter has recently been diagnosed as high functioning autistic. Something we always knew despite being told otherwise.

She he started secondary school this year and everything has gotten much worse. Her anxiety has gone into overdrive. The school are useless and after many battles with the school we have had to withdrawn her completely. They won't give her quite time, shout at her for little eye contact. It is all too much for her. We will be home schooling her from September. The biggest issue is getting her up and out the house. she doesn't want to wash(which I understand) but this is worse as a young female she has started her period and she won't use any sanitary products even though we have shown her, we have soiled knickers, bedding etc... she just doesn't care.

she used to like swimming, doing photography, reading but since secondary school she has completely withdrawn.... Doesn't want to do anything,just sleep. She won't go out and if we do Get her out she is so stressed just cries . I've tried explains were we are going but nothing helps.... Like her, now feel trapped in the house.

she won't join a club of any type.

Has no interest in anything

i am hoping her stress will go away now she knows she doesn't have to go back to school

Has any one got any ideas?

Parents

NAS69167 over 5 years ago

Hi Summer.

i know this is a very late reply. I wondered how things were now for your daughter? The reason being is because it sounds almost identical to our situation with our 13 year old.

Our daughter was a fun loving, happy, active child. Then at around 11 years old she changed dramatically as she entered puberty. Diagnosed with ASD last year. She refuses to wash, go outside, is paranoid about everything. We have taken her out of school and she now refuses to homeschool. She is constantly in a state of anxiety and is not eating. We are convinced she has PTSD. We have CAHMS involved and are hoping for the best.

Given your situation seems the closest to ours, i was wondering (hoping) to see if there had been any improvements with your daughter after she had come out of puberty?

We are doing our best and all we have at the moment is hope.

best wishes, James and Rachelle
animalrant over 5 years ago in reply to NAS69167

hello, although i am not the person you are replying to i am 19 and have ASD myself, your daughters experience sounds very similar to mine. i have had a very hard time since i was 11 and wasn't diagnosed ASD until Monday! when i was your daughters age i also started having a lot of anxiety, i wouldn't wash or eat etc, and i had to leave school, my bmi dropped dramatically i was also under CAMHS. i can say now a lot of things have changed for me. i now eat, i finally wash every day (which my family is very glad about haha) and im not so anxious and paranoid, although i now have been diagnosed with GAD so that's where my anxiety is coming from. In recent months ive realised my anxiety started around 11 when i had started secondary school and puberty all at once - a lot of autistic people really struggle with change which can create a lot of anxiety, your daughter is very unlikely to have PTSD unless she's experienced big trauma, it's much more likely she hasn't got the right coping stratgies for all this change! actually i think there was a program on Channel 4 called 'losing it' and on the first episode there was a young autistic girl who experienced a lot of anxiety and ended up presenting at A&E, it's worth the watch, it helped me. Things will definitely improve for your daughter, i hope it's soon!

Reply

animalrant over 5 years ago in reply to NAS69167

hello, although i am not the person you are replying to i am 19 and have ASD myself, your daughters experience sounds very similar to mine. i have had a very hard time since i was 11 and wasn't diagnosed ASD until Monday! when i was your daughters age i also started having a lot of anxiety, i wouldn't wash or eat etc, and i had to leave school, my bmi dropped dramatically i was also under CAMHS. i can say now a lot of things have changed for me. i now eat, i finally wash every day (which my family is very glad about haha) and im not so anxious and paranoid, although i now have been diagnosed with GAD so that's where my anxiety is coming from. In recent months ive realised my anxiety started around 11 when i had started secondary school and puberty all at once - a lot of autistic people really struggle with change which can create a lot of anxiety, your daughter is very unlikely to have PTSD unless she's experienced big trauma, it's much more likely she hasn't got the right coping stratgies for all this change! actually i think there was a program on Channel 4 called 'losing it' and on the first episode there was a young autistic girl who experienced a lot of anxiety and ended up presenting at A&E, it's worth the watch, it helped me. Things will definitely improve for your daughter, i hope it's soon!

Children

NAS81671 over 3 years ago in reply to NAS69167

Hi friend!

I cant thank you enough for your reply. It gives me so much comfort and hope.

I will take your advice and stop forcing her to act like she used to. She is sleeping ALOT now a days and I belive that has to do with all the stuff thats going on internally.

To hear that your daughter is doing better makes me so happy. Best of luck to you and your daughter. Everything seems to be passing sooner or later.

Kindly, Nathalie
NAS69167 over 3 years ago in reply to NAS81671

Hi Nathalie

yes this reminds me of my situation. You will need patience. Your daughter needs to know you support her.

if you give her time, and put any expectations you have of her to one side, she will begin to feel more comfortable.

it is scary now as you have seen such a change in her.

please

keep the faith it will improve. She is stating in her room as this is where she feels safe.

Possibly encourage small steps?

I was once where you were and my situation with my daughter has improved massively.

It will get better with time.
NAS81671 over 3 years ago in reply to Chelsie

Hi! We live in sweden and I am desperate for help. I just found this page and it describes perfectly my daughter at this moment. She is 10 years old and has autism. Since spring this year she has totally withdrawn from al kind of socialising. She won't go to school, won't go home to her grandmother and doesn't want to do anything that she liked before. I think she might be getting her period soon. Does this behaviour aline with puberty? Im so worried for her and sad that my happy girl doesn't want to do the stuff she loved before. Now she just want to sit in her room looking at YouTube and googeling stuff she's interested in. It brings a lot of comfort to see that we are not alone. Thank you for reading / Nathalie
Chelsie over 4 years ago in reply to animalrant

Hi, just been doing some research and came across your message. Looking for some help. My daughter is 10 in September, she’s always not really liked school struggled many times over the years to get her there, going through a bit of a tough time. We’re at the very beginning of getting her assessed for autism. She’s refused school for the past 6-8 weeks literally hasn’t been. Things are getting worse though she’s now refusing to leave the house, she’s full of anxiety, hardly eating she’s only thin to start with. Not under weight it’s just her build tall and skinny. She literally doesn’t want to do anything just cried and cried for weeks on end saying ‘when am I going to get better’ ‘I don’t want to be here anymore’ I’m struggling to get her to do any work that I get from the school for her to do while she’s at home. We have our first face to face app with a child psychologist next week, hoping they can do some sort of therapy with her so she can manage with getting out and going to school. I just feel like we’re getting no where fast and it breaks my heart seeing her like this every day. Any advice would be greatly appreciated x