Autistic adult who won't accept help?

My brother is 21 years old with "moderate austism". He's technically not classed as having a learning disability as his IQ is just over 70 but he has absolutely no social skills and can't deal with basic human emmotions. My parents put up with constant abuse and don't know where to turn to next.

Long story short we got a disability social worker but my brother won't admit theres anything wrong with him and will not cooperate with her what so ever. Because of this she says theres nothing she can do and if we don;t like his behaviour kick him out into the streets. She even suggested kicking him out because of what my parents put up with. This isn't an option because he would end up in a homeless hostel full of drug addicts and hes mentally about the age of an 8 year old. We've told him we might kick him out and theres been incidents involving the police and mental health workers and its just done nothing. My parents feel emotionally blackmailed into being domestically abused. We can even get benefits to pay for his living costs because he won't fill out the paper work because he doesn't think hes autistic. He doesn't work and says he will never work as he doesn't want to contribute to society and he wants to live in our house forever.

Where can we turn to next? We're waiting to see a behavioural expert with the NAS but they won't answer their phones even then we don't know what servce we're actually being offered. Does anyone have any advice?

Right now what we'd like to address is his constant abusive language. Everytime he sees my parents he has to swear at them or insult them to make a point that he can. Any suggestions in this area too?

Thanks

Parents
  • Hello my names Rachel and like your brother I was also diagnosed with asperges syndrome and I used to be quite a handful I was violent and abusive and had a few run ins with the police myself.  I am now 24 and I've got a good job with the nhs as a health care support worker and I'm slowly working my way into nursing.  I think what helped me tho was going to different group and mixing with others like me. Are there perhaps any groups by you the 1st group I joined was ASDES which stands for autism spectrum disorder employment support they help people on the spectrum find work across the South Wales area and they also hold monthly social groups.  Another group I go to is the enabled project its a youth club for people with mixed abilities they hold drop ins and do things like gardeing music work shops trips away and drama and crafts is there anything like that in your area. The final group I go is actually a support group for adults who been diagnosed late I have a friend there that was diagnosed when he was 34. All of these groups have helped me a lot and I learnt that I'm not alone there are others out there like me and I'm a much better person. I do still have my moments tho but they are a billion times better than before.  I know it's hard but please don't give up on your brother hopefully things will slowly start to get better look at me for example.  Hope this helps 

Reply
  • Hello my names Rachel and like your brother I was also diagnosed with asperges syndrome and I used to be quite a handful I was violent and abusive and had a few run ins with the police myself.  I am now 24 and I've got a good job with the nhs as a health care support worker and I'm slowly working my way into nursing.  I think what helped me tho was going to different group and mixing with others like me. Are there perhaps any groups by you the 1st group I joined was ASDES which stands for autism spectrum disorder employment support they help people on the spectrum find work across the South Wales area and they also hold monthly social groups.  Another group I go to is the enabled project its a youth club for people with mixed abilities they hold drop ins and do things like gardeing music work shops trips away and drama and crafts is there anything like that in your area. The final group I go is actually a support group for adults who been diagnosed late I have a friend there that was diagnosed when he was 34. All of these groups have helped me a lot and I learnt that I'm not alone there are others out there like me and I'm a much better person. I do still have my moments tho but they are a billion times better than before.  I know it's hard but please don't give up on your brother hopefully things will slowly start to get better look at me for example.  Hope this helps 

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