I've had full Autistic Spectrum Disorder since 2011 and since then life has been a struggle. I was a teenager when I was diagnosed and somehow before 2011, life seemed easier and almost certainly I was happier. In recent years I've been really upset and sometimes depressed, once I even thought about a sex change and wondered if becoming a girl would help improve my ASD, but I never went through with that.
With my ASD I find that I worry a lot about all sorts of small and big things. Since 2011 I've had a fear of being sick which I can't seem to cure and I also worry about health and diseases, to the extent that I had to have my internet monitored by my Dad to make sure I didn't look any diseases up!
The worst part of my ASD is not knowing who I am ... for years now I've tried so hard at so many different things, writing, game creating, singing and many more. I'm good at them all and could do them, but they never last. I do those sort of things for a few days max and then I become all sad and unhappy wondering what to do for my future. I don't go out often and therefore have never met a girl to hopefully one day marry. I just feel like life is going nowhere and that I'm never going to find out who I am and what my future will hold!
Has anyone else been through a similar experience, or if you have any advice then please, please share.
Hugs.
Matthew.
