Hi everyone, I really need some advice and dont know where to turn to. Im sorry if i bore you all but I dont know who else i can talk to.
My brother is 17 and has autism and ADHD. My mum is a single parent who is literally having a mental breakdown. She is under a severe depression and having to deal with my brother who at the age of 17 wants to start drinking, smoking, driving, get a job ect like every other 17 year old. He has a place at a residential school and comes home every 3 weeks for the weekend however since christmas he has refused to go back.
My mum is really struggling financially and literally has £5 left a month after paying bills ect. My brother is totally oblivious to this and just thinks that money grows on trees.
My mum is so worried about his future that she broke down to me this morning about how horrible her life is. Does anybody realise that horrible feeling when you see somebody you care about so much in pain yet you feel so helpless???????
My mum has never done anything with her life. She has met several men in the past and has never had a relationship last over a year due to them not understanding my brothers disabilities. She has never had a job as she has been a full time carer to my brother. She hasnt left the house in weeks and is desperate to get a part time job to make some friends and get out of the house however my brother follows her absolutely everywhere and refuses to be alone.
If she gets in the bath he will sit outside the door and tell her to hurry up and when shes out he just shouts and talks down to her. I dont know if there are carers that can look after him while my mum goes to work but he is nearly 18 and there is no doubt in my mind that he will let her go to work. He wont stay with carers and will simply smash the whole house up or run out.
Being 20 and still living with my mum and watching it day and night i feel absolutely helpless. I work full time and come home to my mum crying because shes had such a bad day with him. I give her as much money as i can but i feel like i need to do more to help her.
Ive thought about giving up my job in a nursery to help her during the day but i studied so hard at college to get this job i feel like ill be putting my life on hold to sort out my brothers problems.
I could go on forever but hopefully you get the idea. Does anybody have know what I can do to help my mum or someone we can go to for support? We have a social worker but my mum doesnt want to tell her everything in fear of him being taken away?
