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struggling to understand and react to sons outbursts

yakdad

Hi all we are currently pealing the onion to get to the route of my sons behaviours, its been noted he is showing alot of autistic trates and coupled with his hearing issues porr little mite has not had a good start in life, he is now 7 and in main stream school but since the age of three been having outbursts of sheer anger and frustration and no matter whatmyself or wife tried to do it got worse, its been tough and even harder now hes at school we get all the pent up anger and frustration when hes home, he hates a change of routine and refuses point blank to go out at weekends unless he has been told well in advance all we get is major melt downs, just recently he has has started to throw a hissy fit and refuse to allow me to help him and shouts to not look at him whch is driving me to despair . has anyone else encountered this ? we have only now started down the road of gettinga  full diagnosis but feel helpless on what or how to react to help him, thankyou in advance for any help or advice 

Parents

  • Hi

    As an adult "Aspie" and former Special Needs Teaching Assistant, I have a few ideas:

    1. Dealing with the pent up anger & frustration: Something that was suggested for a child I once worked with was that the parents bought a punch bag / punch ball and installed it in his bedroom to take things out on when he got home from school, which they reported did help him so could be worth a try.

    2. Change of routine: Imagine it's your day off and you've just started to do something you really like, when someone says "Pack that away now, we're going out". Would you feel like throwing a fit? I don't know whether your son yet has any awareness of time passing - most children develop this at around age 7, but I would suggest getting a nice calendar with a big square for each day, and get him to help you mark on it what he's going to do each day. It might work better if you sometimes let him choose what he's going to do and put it on the calendar. If he's not good at reading and writing yet, use pictures.

    3. Not wanting to be looked at: this probably stems from his anxiety at wanting to get things right and feeling self-conscious. You don't say what it is he refuses to let you help him with, but if it's something that takes him longer to do without help, perhaps you could try making more time for him to do that task and leaving him to get on with it.

    Good luck

Reply

  • Hi

    As an adult "Aspie" and former Special Needs Teaching Assistant, I have a few ideas:

    1. Dealing with the pent up anger & frustration: Something that was suggested for a child I once worked with was that the parents bought a punch bag / punch ball and installed it in his bedroom to take things out on when he got home from school, which they reported did help him so could be worth a try.

    2. Change of routine: Imagine it's your day off and you've just started to do something you really like, when someone says "Pack that away now, we're going out". Would you feel like throwing a fit? I don't know whether your son yet has any awareness of time passing - most children develop this at around age 7, but I would suggest getting a nice calendar with a big square for each day, and get him to help you mark on it what he's going to do each day. It might work better if you sometimes let him choose what he's going to do and put it on the calendar. If he's not good at reading and writing yet, use pictures.

    3. Not wanting to be looked at: this probably stems from his anxiety at wanting to get things right and feeling self-conscious. You don't say what it is he refuses to let you help him with, but if it's something that takes him longer to do without help, perhaps you could try making more time for him to do that task and leaving him to get on with it.

    Good luck

Children
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