Any ASD spectrum people think it's other people who are the problem?

I feel worn out with the endless references to the difficulties people on my spectrum have without considering that it's perhaps neurotypical people who cause the difficulty.

Have you considered the same thing?

In discussions with my advisor, for example, difficulties are sometimes identified as my tendency to "take things litererally". I find it frustrating. If people expressed themselves both clearly and directly then their literal meaning would be the meaning intended. What's wrong with that?

Also, something which frustrates me greatly is other people who fail to take my own meaning literally. They appear to believe, incorrectly, that like them, I also mean something I didn't say. In discussions with my advisor, again, this difficulty is basically discussed as if it is my fault because I'm autistic.

In both cases it seems to me that if others expressed themselves more clearly, and were used to doing so, then neither of us would have such problems with communication.

Limitations experienced or caused by neurotypical people are not sufficiently acknowledged or recognised, they tend to be hidden or widely accepted simply because their faults are deemed socially normal.


What do others think?

Do you agree the difficulties you face on the ASD spectrum are often really as much to do with the limitations and difficulties caused by neurotypical people? 

Do you have experiences of difficulties you beleive you wouldn't have if neurotypical people developed some of the distinct advantages of being on the ASD spectrum?

Do you have stories or regular frustrations which make you think "If only..." the person you're speaking to, or example, would see things more literally, or something else?

Where do you think being neurotypical is a disadvantage over being ASD?

Also, like me, do you believe it is significant that such difficulties only occur in meetings with neurotypical people, and mysteriously vanish at all other times? Suggesting it's as much neurotypical who are the cause of producing the problem as anything we are the cause of ourselves?

Just generally what do you think are the frustration of ASD for which the neurotypicals basically really have only themselves to blame?

Parents
  • Quite a black and white perspective on NTs! Fitting in with a group need not be sheep-like. Ants do rather well with their co-operative activity. Some seemingly 'pointless' activities are down to politeness, rules of engagement and social expectation. You can have these things as well as a different point of view, interests, ways of doing things, lifestyle etc.

    There's a mix of people who are NT and a mix who are on the spectrum. NT people aren't all judgmental or backstabbing. They are varied.

    The only benefit I see in trying alter behaviour in either group is to improve a person's happiness. Our young person is desperate to make friends - so we try to explain behaviours that might help. Ideally, other people would make an effort for a person unlike themselves, but it's not going to happen, so the option then is to try strategies to align. In the end whoever is the needier person has to consider how to achieve what they most want.

Reply
  • Quite a black and white perspective on NTs! Fitting in with a group need not be sheep-like. Ants do rather well with their co-operative activity. Some seemingly 'pointless' activities are down to politeness, rules of engagement and social expectation. You can have these things as well as a different point of view, interests, ways of doing things, lifestyle etc.

    There's a mix of people who are NT and a mix who are on the spectrum. NT people aren't all judgmental or backstabbing. They are varied.

    The only benefit I see in trying alter behaviour in either group is to improve a person's happiness. Our young person is desperate to make friends - so we try to explain behaviours that might help. Ideally, other people would make an effort for a person unlike themselves, but it's not going to happen, so the option then is to try strategies to align. In the end whoever is the needier person has to consider how to achieve what they most want.

Children
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