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My AS son and my relationship with my new partner

t's mum

Hello.  This is my first post on this site - I've never done anything like this before!  I'd love to find out whether anyone else can offer me advice or just generally chat, if they have experience the same sort of problems.

My 9 year old son was diagnosed with Aspergers about 6 months ago.  The trouble I am having is as follows:

I got divorced 3 years ago from the father of my son.  He seemed to cope with it very well.  For the last 2 and a half years I've had a new man in my life and we now live together with my 2 boys, one aged 5 and my AS son who has just turned 9.

The problem I have is that my partner doesn't seem to accept that my son has AS.  He just thinks he is badly behaved and rude.  My partner simply does not get along with my 9 year old.  He treats my son as a "normal" child when it comes to discipline which usually involves him getting angry and shouting at him, which in turn makes my son very angry and upset.  I don't know what to do, I don't want to undermine my partner but feel sorry for my son sometimes when he gets so upset.

I find it difficult to differentiate between bad behaviour because of his Aspergers or whether it is just bad behaviour.  I don't know what to do or how to discipline my son.  I am getting no help from the authority that diagnosed him and don't know where to turn.  I have thought about getting private counselling for anger management.  My son gets very angry.

Has anyone else experienced similar or can anyone offer any advice that may help?

Many thanks.

Parents

  • On reading it again, it could come accross very negitive towards your partner. That was not my intention and I am sorry for that.  My husband struggle with my son's diagnosis and since he has found out about the AS he has started to understand our son and sees some of the issues Joe goes through, helping him deal with them in a manner which helps Joe. He use to get very cross and angry with him which is perfectly normal reaction because that was the only way hubby could deal with it. I think that is was i was trying to say.  We have had to change us rather than Joe which to be honest is the hardest thing off all.

    I'm hope with all my heart your partner comes to terms and sees your son for what he is a really speacial child.  Would love to chat more.... xxx

Reply

  • On reading it again, it could come accross very negitive towards your partner. That was not my intention and I am sorry for that.  My husband struggle with my son's diagnosis and since he has found out about the AS he has started to understand our son and sees some of the issues Joe goes through, helping him deal with them in a manner which helps Joe. He use to get very cross and angry with him which is perfectly normal reaction because that was the only way hubby could deal with it. I think that is was i was trying to say.  We have had to change us rather than Joe which to be honest is the hardest thing off all.

    I'm hope with all my heart your partner comes to terms and sees your son for what he is a really speacial child.  Would love to chat more.... xxx

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