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advice needed please xx

linziprophet

Hi everyone first time on a forum so a little nervous but could really do with some advice, my son who is 8 years old has just had a record meltdown that has lasted 2 hours he has calming lights in his room and has now settled. when he has these meltdowns he wont talk or listen to me or his dad he puts his fleece blanket around himself and just screams and shouts and hes destructive i have heard that weighted blankets are a good aid to use can anyone tell me if these are worth buying ? and if so where is the best place to buy them from, thanks x

  • your poor son, how distressing for all involved.

    I am an adult with A.S.C. and suffer from meltdowns. I have been able to identify some of the stressors that build up and try to reduce them before I go nuclear.

    Stressors : Social interaction, sound sensitivities, being out of control of my environment, inturuptions - not being able to finish a task, not being able to do things perfectly. it really helps to be able to identify when things are deteriorating before I go nuclear. not always easym but now I know what my stressors are, its becoming easier.

    Things that help me when a meltdown is brewing : Ear defenders, space away from people, calm room, plain surfaces, soft textures distraction in a special interest and yes weighted lap blankets help a bit. They are expensive. I made my own recently from a pilowcase for a fraction of the cost and it was quite easy. here is a tutorial - I filled mine with plastic polly granuels which I got from ebay. I used brushed cotton pillowcase as it is a soft but strong material.

    www.greatfun4kidsblog.com/.../so-i-sewed-weighted-blanket-tutorial.html

    During a meltdown: people get out of the way and leave me alone. sometimes something just has to get broken & I feel so much better. Pilow to punch? punch bag? Not nice for onlookers - which is why its best to leave me alone to calm down.

    Best wishes and good luck with things. 

  • It always worth a try.

    I don't have meltdowns in that way but on Wednesday I was feeling angry over something. I was cleaning in a church and unsually kept my coat on. An afterthought I realised I could put my hood up. I wasn't at risk of being portrayed as a hoodie as the priest knows me well and knew what got to me anyway.  But yes it reduced my anger for me.

    Point to note - whilst we complain about hoodies and how teenagers use them, perhaps it their way of seeking comfort in themselves too.

    But yes it well worth the try and don't be too worried by that he won't speak to you after a meltdown. Please don't try to make him speak. Just be around as such so he knows you are there when he wants to speak. As for the screaming if the lights work then use what works. He needs to work through his emotions his way otherwise if they are forced in then be longer term emotional damage. Just allow him time and space so he knows what to do when the meltdowns happen. 

    just be around for him when he is ready and just make sure he is safe and have available what works for him

    Take care

  • Welcome to the forum.

    I find the physical sensation of being squeezed, or some weight on me, very calming, and this can be a very effective way to help me calm down following a melt-down.  In fact, I still find it very hard to sleep at night without feeling that I'm properly "tucked in", even though I'm now in my forties.  Such things are very different for each autistic person, but you are definitely thinking along the right lines.

    There was a post about professionally made weighted blankets here a little while ago that you might find useful.  Here's a link that you can click to get to it - Ball Blanket

    One thing that I think it is very important to stress about melt downs, is that when it happens to us, the reason that we don't listen or talk is not because we don't want to.  Our brains are just get so fried that the language bit of our brain is completely shut down, and we can't understand or speak no matter how hard we try.  When I am like that, the people around me may as well be talking Klingon for all the difference it would make! It is often best to calmly tell the person in very simple words that they are safe, that you are there for them, and that what is happening to them will pass shortly - and then remain quiet until it recedes.  Easier said than done, I'm sure, as your desire to stop it must be so exasperating - but calmness from those around us really helps to reduce the overload that we feel.

    The fact that your son wraps himself in his blanket when he has a melt-down suggests that you are right to look for something that gives him the sensation of being wrapped up, but which he is in total control over.  It may also be that the texture, or even the colour or smell, of the blanket is very comforting for him too.  If you talk to him about which sensations he enjoys the most, I'm sure that between you, you will find something that helps.

    Best wishes.