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Marriage and Asperger

Rob3d

Hi,

I am a total newbie to forum chats but I am not in the best place right now with regular panic attacks. I am 40, Married for 15 years with 3 children. I have been diagnosed with Asperger for 13 months now and just finished my 12 months of NHS counselling/therapy. I sought the diagnosis after a really hard time at work lots of long days with great responsibility and no recognition for my efforts. 

This was hard on my family and especially my wife, now a year on my responsibilities and hours are less than they have been in years but a new crisis has fallen. I think that my wife expected a miracle cure after the diagnosis and therapy and although I have improved greatly and can talk to people and go out to busy places. I believe she feels she is burdened with the responsibility of looking after me (even though I have a steady job and I am the main wage earner) as a life long commitment and I will never be the person she wants. It has come to the point where she dose not know if she can do this anymore.

I don't expect miracles I'd just like to not feel so alienated.

Parents

  • Hi Paul,

    As ginger replied, I was given the option of diffrent things to try I took the one to one councillingb wich think it was 8/9 sessions which spanned the year. I believe she hinted that I could be defered for more councilling though this would I'm sure undergo another evaluation to see if I would get anything more from it. 

    My wife did attend two of them, but on reflection now I think she was already overwrought. This confused me as I couldnt understand why she wasnt happy about things moving forward. 

    I think she needs more help and understanding with it than me perhaps, then she would not get quite so cross at me all the time.

    When I was young I felt like an adult because I didnt understand my fellow youth eratic emotions, now I am old(er) I feel like I missed out on that learning proccess and am a child in and an adults body because I dont understand the subtitles of body langauage, verbal sub contexts, relationships, work etc!

    Still you cannot stop learning no matter the results and where that path might take you. I will allways have my beloved computers . 

    Cheers

    Rob

Reply

  • Hi Paul,

    As ginger replied, I was given the option of diffrent things to try I took the one to one councillingb wich think it was 8/9 sessions which spanned the year. I believe she hinted that I could be defered for more councilling though this would I'm sure undergo another evaluation to see if I would get anything more from it. 

    My wife did attend two of them, but on reflection now I think she was already overwrought. This confused me as I couldnt understand why she wasnt happy about things moving forward. 

    I think she needs more help and understanding with it than me perhaps, then she would not get quite so cross at me all the time.

    When I was young I felt like an adult because I didnt understand my fellow youth eratic emotions, now I am old(er) I feel like I missed out on that learning proccess and am a child in and an adults body because I dont understand the subtitles of body langauage, verbal sub contexts, relationships, work etc!

    Still you cannot stop learning no matter the results and where that path might take you. I will allways have my beloved computers . 

    Cheers

    Rob

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