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Marriage and Asperger

Rob3d

Hi,

I am a total newbie to forum chats but I am not in the best place right now with regular panic attacks. I am 40, Married for 15 years with 3 children. I have been diagnosed with Asperger for 13 months now and just finished my 12 months of NHS counselling/therapy. I sought the diagnosis after a really hard time at work lots of long days with great responsibility and no recognition for my efforts. 

This was hard on my family and especially my wife, now a year on my responsibilities and hours are less than they have been in years but a new crisis has fallen. I think that my wife expected a miracle cure after the diagnosis and therapy and although I have improved greatly and can talk to people and go out to busy places. I believe she feels she is burdened with the responsibility of looking after me (even though I have a steady job and I am the main wage earner) as a life long commitment and I will never be the person she wants. It has come to the point where she dose not know if she can do this anymore.

I don't expect miracles I'd just like to not feel so alienated.

Parents

  • hi

    i was diagnosed with aspergers in november last year after a life time of difficulties.  i am now 45.  at one point i was even a team manager, but the stress and responsibility was all too much for me and i broke down,  that was september 2014 and i am still unable to work.  panic and stress kind of rule my life.  i was glad of the diagnoses and am kind of proud of it, as it answered many questions.  i am getting better, but it is slow.  i do not expect miracles, i just accept who i am.  i am lucky, i have a wife of 13 years who has stuck by me through some very traumatic times.  my diagnoses was a relief for her, and although there are times she finds some of my habits difficult, she does not try to change me or expect me to suddenly change.  i am lucky.  however my parents do not really understand, they try but  do not really get it and believe one day i shall be normal again.

    but what is normal?  i am sure your wife will get it, but it will take time.  it is not easy for those around us.  i felt alienated all my life, i felt i never fitted in i was different.  now i have aspergers i have a reason and i have support. 

    good luck

Reply

  • hi

    i was diagnosed with aspergers in november last year after a life time of difficulties.  i am now 45.  at one point i was even a team manager, but the stress and responsibility was all too much for me and i broke down,  that was september 2014 and i am still unable to work.  panic and stress kind of rule my life.  i was glad of the diagnoses and am kind of proud of it, as it answered many questions.  i am getting better, but it is slow.  i do not expect miracles, i just accept who i am.  i am lucky, i have a wife of 13 years who has stuck by me through some very traumatic times.  my diagnoses was a relief for her, and although there are times she finds some of my habits difficult, she does not try to change me or expect me to suddenly change.  i am lucky.  however my parents do not really understand, they try but  do not really get it and believe one day i shall be normal again.

    but what is normal?  i am sure your wife will get it, but it will take time.  it is not easy for those around us.  i felt alienated all my life, i felt i never fitted in i was different.  now i have aspergers i have a reason and i have support. 

    good luck

Children
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