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I see that we have some commonality with this one. Has anyone got any idea what it is that sends us off into these trips? I've never been able to work out the who, what, when, where, why of it, which is just one more frustration to add to the list.

You've probably nailed it, Gingerman. I think I've found myself obsessing about it much less, now that I know it's just another facet of being AS. It doesn't make it any less of a puzzle to me, but it does slightly reduce the anxiety I get over it. Interestingly, this is the first time I've ever told anyone about it or described it, even to myself.

It's scary for me to write these things about myself. Even the 'muttering' to myself as I go about my world is something that's caused me problems in the past. Having mobile tech helps - you can pretend to be on the 'phone, especially if you've got a Bluetooth earpiece in.

I chose ASC over D for the reasons I stated, I had the debate with myself because I'd read other people's reasoning about it and agreed with the ASC side of the debate. I'm certain that 'disability is appropriate, but only in the sense that the majority NTs 'disable' us because of the type of people we are. I've said before that if WE ran the world, it would be a markedly different place. Hopefuly, we'd find ways to be kind and condescending to the poor, crippled NTs...

It's a pity that we don't have voting buttons so that we can collectively debate and vote over these things and have a lsit of 'accepted' terms on the front page when we enter the site. I think it helps if we all describe the same thing using the same language, because one of the things that bothers and confuses me is the 'spread' of terms.

I don't like the term 'Asperger's, for instance, given that it describes only a subset of AS people, and that not very clearly. I go with AS because it's my group, my collective identity, and I'm glad to see the professionals trying to disuse it. If we found that we don't like the term 'maladaptive', what would we use instead? I mean, it's appropriate by definition, but, to my mind, unhelpful as a negativity. I always think of that place as my 'Retreat'.

I did laugh at the 'meeting' story - I've been there, too, and I'm delighted to hear how you've found your balance Iridessafay - I think I'll try to take a lesson from you on that one

hi

i guess my daydreaming takes me away.  i put myself in situations in which i have more control over, or would rather be in.  real life kind of overwhelms me, i find it frustrating that i do not understand what is going on around me, so the daydreaming helps. 

i fixate on things as well, so much so that i am unaware of things or people around me.  it is one of the things my wife finds very frustrating.  she can talk to me and i ignore here.  but i am not ignoring her, i am completely unaware of her presence.  i am off in another place.  it can happen when i am watching a movie, or cooking or reading.  i tend to live in my head, sometimes this is good others not so much.  i used to fight it more before i was aware of my aspergers, but now i tend to go with it.  i am more at ease with it.  it is just one of the things that make me who i am, and when i struggle with it an and try to be more like people expect me to be, (which i do even though i feel i shouldnt) i usually end up panicing and getting stressed.

i guess what i am trying to say is that i am autistic.  i am different, not wrong.  to be happy i need to do things a certain way, and live a certain way.  if that means living in a world in my head, if i am not hurting anyone else, why should it matter.

Classisc Cloger, you are not the only one who thinks that austism should be stated as ASC (Austisc Septrum Condition) I completely disagree when people phase austism into being a negivate. I get maladapitve daydreaming also. When I get it everything in reailty turns completely unrealistsic, it's a very weird feeling. I get character ideas in my head and do impressions of them when I don't really know what I'm doing. I don't get this often but in the weirdist of moments.

I rember one time I was in a boring presentation about waste contorl in the pipes which connect to the sea and the sewage system. After about a minute I had a daydream of a mafia gang meeting but a comedy kind of style. The daydream also connects with another trait I have when I get nervous I start laughing for no reason. Anyway after about 30 minutes of the presentation I had my head in my arms and was uncontrollably laughing, the person who was doing the presentation was quite angry with me and asked me to leave. I couldn't stop lauguring when I went out the room and took my jumper and had a drink of water. It makes me laugh to think about it now, hahaha how the heck is a mafia meeting a comedy. Keep in mind that it was completely out of my choice that I laughed.

-Bob Jones

I didn't understand the phrase, so I looked it up. What I found says that this is a theory with little support. However, when I read how the author defined it, I found myself agreeing that, to an extent, what she said goes some way to describing how it is for me when it happens. I'll explain my question, but really I just wanted to make sure I understood what you meant by 'maladaptive daydreaming'.

I get 'itchy' when I see something that suggests there's 'something wrong' with us. For instance, I prefer to call it Autism Spectrum Condition rather than 'Disorder', although I am fine with either, so I just tend to refer to us as AS. That way, I offend both sides or neither, but at least I'm treating everyone the same. 'Disorder', although I accept that our dealings with NTs can be disordered, is a negative word.

So, when I read the root word 'mal' i.e. 'bad', it set my itch off because it's yet another negative word. I realise that this is just me, but I try to avoid using anything 'negative' sounding. The English language is one of my obsessions!

Anyway, like I said, I agreed with the definition. When I'm there, the place I go to is real, and it pops up inbidden. I've always done it, but I've just always thought of it as going into my 'fantasy' world, where I can be what I want, do what I like, I get there and imagine exactly those conversations with people that, in real life, I could never have - all of that sort of thing. The worst case is when I'm talking to someone and go off.

The other person has usually stopped talking before I realise and return to consciousness, and then, of course, I know that they're probably waiting for a response, but I have no idea what is appropriate. Sometimes, I'll utter out loud snippets of the imaginary conversation I'm having, which also usually brings me back. The looks I've had from people and the embarrasing positions I've found myself in make my insides screw up in agony even as I write this, because those occasions are forever replaying.

Whenever anyone has said to me 'can you imagine?' I say yes but really I can't. I know that my other world is illusionary, but only when I'm not there. It gets worse with rising stress.

Is that any help?

Yup, I do all of that.

I'd be interested to know why you call it 'maladaptive daydreaming'?

Yep, all the time. I live in a fantasy world, mainly obsessing over a particular interest or mulling over my life and what it all means. Also, I have OCD so I am always living in my head worrying about things, when I am not having more enjoyable fantasies. My dreams are very vivid as well, very complex and quite symbolic.