Letting work know

I can see what you're saying. In one of those 'moments' you've said something that you regret, and the worse part is that, now you've told them, they're going to want to explore it when you don't.

I wish I'd never done the same thing, but truthfuly, I've done it so often that I'm actually cringing because I'm feeling your anguish.

It doesn't sound like you have any option but to go ahead with it. The alternative would be to refuse to discuss it and possibly resign, and I hope you don't do that, because they're not going to be able to pretend they haven't heard it, and now, apart from anything else, they've got a legal obligation to you. I don't know what kind of work you do, or what attitude they'll take, but it doesn't matter. What's important is how we're going to help you through this.

It may be that they are enlightened anyway, and will value you enough to want to keep you. If they're unaware of it, you can point them at the NAS and tell them that they can get very good information and advice from them. This at least will take away much of the burden of explaining yourself, and really, as an employer, they should already be aware of the issue.

I think that the first time you discuss this with them will be your opportunity to gauge how they feel. I would call it vital that you take someone with you, I certainly wouldn't encourage you to face this alone, so if you can, please have someone to support you when you meet with them. Is there someone who can do this with you? Are you a union member?

I know you're full of regrets for telling them, but try not to guess at where this is going. There are plenty of good people in the world, and they might just be some of them - see what they say first. I'm sorry this has happened, I've been in the same boat myself, but you know what? Sometimes, something that seemd bad at the time has actually worked out well for me. It didn't stop any of the stuff that went through my head and sounds like it's going through yours right now, but you've endured worse, and you're still in the game.

You can do this.

I can see what you're saying. In one of those 'moments' you've said something that you regret, and the worse part is that, now you've told them, they're going to want to explore it when you don't.

I wish I'd never done the same thing, but truthfuly, I've done it so often that I'm actually cringing because I'm feeling your anguish.

It doesn't sound like you have any option but to go ahead with it. The alternative would be to refuse to discuss it and possibly resign, and I hope you don't do that, because they're not going to be able to pretend they haven't heard it, and now, apart from anything else, they've got a legal obligation to you. I don't know what kind of work you do, or what attitude they'll take, but it doesn't matter. What's important is how we're going to help you through this.

It may be that they are enlightened anyway, and will value you enough to want to keep you. If they're unaware of it, you can point them at the NAS and tell them that they can get very good information and advice from them. This at least will take away much of the burden of explaining yourself, and really, as an employer, they should already be aware of the issue.

I think that the first time you discuss this with them will be your opportunity to gauge how they feel. I would call it vital that you take someone with you, I certainly wouldn't encourage you to face this alone, so if you can, please have someone to support you when you meet with them. Is there someone who can do this with you? Are you a union member?

I know you're full of regrets for telling them, but try not to guess at where this is going. There are plenty of good people in the world, and they might just be some of them - see what they say first. I'm sorry this has happened, I've been in the same boat myself, but you know what? Sometimes, something that seemd bad at the time has actually worked out well for me. It didn't stop any of the stuff that went through my head and sounds like it's going through yours right now, but you've endured worse, and you're still in the game.

You can do this.