Hi.
I'm a little confused on the usefulness of a diagnosis of Autism, if all the specialists have the attitude of "It's a mystery", with no concrete recommendations, just vague and wishy why stuff.
To me it is just that same as saying you have mickey mouse disease.
I have a son with Autism who has major meltdowns sometimes in no reaction to anything happening right then. Mostly repeating a question over and over, getting angrier and angrier.
Any suggestions?
This is very difficult to answer because it will depend on what is causing his distress in the first place. It may be useful to take a step back from trying to manage the outcome and try to identify some of the causes. For example, does he have any sensory issues that are overwhelming him? Does he have communication difficulties that mean he is struggling to express himself or feeling like he doesn't understand what is going to be happening in his day? Are any of his routines being disrupted? (Not an exhaustive list). If you can identify any patterns to when these outbursts happen you may be able to mitigate some of the factors involved e.g. by reducing noise in the environment, using written or pictorial forms of communication (there are loads of ideas for these available online), recognising which routines are important to him and supporting him to complete them etc.
In terms of dealing with the actual outbursts themselves, what is likely to work again depends on the individual. Some people respond best to some form of distraction, others to being comforted, others to some forms of clear boundary setting, others to just some quiet time and space to calm themselves down. If he has a lot of pent up frustration that he can't seem to get out then I don't necessarily think that channelling that into something appropriate, e.g. hitting a pillow, is always a bad thing. Without knowing your son it is difficult to make guesses about the best way forward (although prevention is always better than cure if possible).
When my daughter went through a phase of repetitive questioning what worked with her was limiting the number she was allowed to ask per day and gradually reducing it. But her emotional arousal levels seemed to be somewhat lower than your son's when she was asking them, from what I have read here.
Ok googled it. A setting event is when something is missing or there causing the problem.
A chemical there or not there in the brain causing him to feel "off" and start to ask the same questions over and over going into a state?.......
Or something happening or not happening causing him to start the questioning?
When he first starts mentioning his questions associated with going into a state, does anyone have a suggestion of what steps to do?
Do you know of ways of "letting of off steam" that are not violent or do not encourage violence?
In the past he would repeat " what time do I see my cousin?" over and over gradually getting angrier and angrier.
Recently it is "do the lights come on when it's raining?", asking over and over , first calm then getting angrier and angrier each time he asks it. No answer satisfies.
I can try getting him to write but he may snap the pencils if he's going into a state.
Longman is right and what he refers to as "bad day levels" are now starting to gain some recognition from professionals - you may want to try Googling "setting events" ("triggers" are typically the "last straw" type things that happen).
Coming from a more personal perspective, perhaps his inability to communicate effectively is in itself a source of frustration? If one knows one needs some kind of help but can't get the right words out to obtain it (or one isn't quite sure what the problem exactly is or how it can be solved, which may also be a factor) that can be enormously frustrating (it is for me anyway).
Maybe try to find other ways for him to communicate (as Longman also suggests), e.g. texting, drawing, and try to get him to communicate or find some other way to "let off steam" a little earlier on in the process because his communication skills are likely to deteriorate the more emotional he feels.
He speaks very well but seems to have a mood come upon him, it seems like when the mood comes upon him, he starts asking his chosen question. Instead of expressing his feelings, it seems he just grabs on to his same question he always asks and starts tepeating it and going into a state.
My son can talk fine. He is 8 and half years old. He repeats the same question over and over, no answer satisfies. He keeps asking it over and over going into a state.
Do you know anyone else with a child like this? Have they found a solution to manage it.
Usually someone would have chipped in by now pointing out it is not a disease, mickey mouse or otherwise.
Meltdowns are a response to sensory overloads, including self imposed spiralling anxiety overloading the information input.
It doesn't follow, and indeed is unlikely to relate directly "to anything happening right then". But something recent might have been the last straw .... though it can be hard to spot
I bet you've had bad days, when everything goes wrong. Eventually you've snapped - shown anger, or sheer frustration in a sudden outburst, and then maybe felt a bit better (unless you did it in public in which case you may feel embarrassed).
Your son is experiencing high levels of "bad day" building up inside, or it is sometimes viewed, his ability to cope with stress has a narrower outlet or bandwidth. Either way it is likely there are many causalities all building up together. And it will tend to result in meltdowns, and they probably wont make him feel any better. And they may often be in front of others, just making things worse.
You can do something by trying to find out or understand what issues are a recurring concern, and try to provide answers or resolution, to reduce the number of stress issues. That isn't necessarily easy.
But if you can solve some worry issues that are easily resolved it might alleviate his capacity to meet the other pressures building up, and he might meltdown less often.
You don't indicate if he is able to speak, or if he is able to tell you what is worrying him. Sometimes if you can get him to write down all the things that are worrying or distressing him, you can help him go over these and find solutions to some of them.
But this stuff about spotting triggers, at least in my opinion (others may disagree) is a "red herring" - it misses the point that it is multi-factor, and the so-called trigger may not actually be helpful.
