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Frustrated

Debs75

Hi,

I'm at my wits end. My son is so aggressive towards his dad.

He gets so angry and up tight. Would you believe it's all over his dad's coughing

As soon as Gavin ( thats The dad) coughs James (our son) goes right into one.

He refuses to eat with us. He dose nothing but copy his dad non-stop 24 7

He gets so worked up over it. It's causing so much stress between us all. 

It's not right. My son  is 14. And I totally feel worn down with it.

He sits in his room,curtains and door shut,that's his life. He doesn't want to socialise

With anyone. Eating is a nightmare.

Yet the dr says his not depressed !! His autistic yes. But how do u cope with the  

Non existence of  hygiene,being the no 1 enemy and the total melt downs at home and

The aggressive behaviour. Also we can't go on holiday for more than a weekend because

We know James can't handle change....yes we have planned it spoke about it....it dosent 

Work.tops it lasts  2 days and he wants to go home. And he just makes life unbelievably

Unbearable until you come home.

Days out, are no more. We have given up. We just pop out and back now.

As James wants to go out.we go and as soon as we are there he wants to come home again.

If you don't it's a living Hell, or we get can I go sit in the car and wait for you.after

5minutes.

His 14yrs old hates school,has no interest in nothing. Only owls,dragons and minecraft 

That's his life... we love him to bits. Yet his always more so lately at arms length.

It's destroying us as a family. We have a younger daughter too. So she's 11. And it's 

Very hard for her too. As we can't gel as a family. We really want to...Yet James will not

Have it. It's heart breaking. And so so frustrating.

We are seeing a dr for help, but to be honest they just want to seek help at the school.as

The school know his autistic and are not helping him at all.his quite at school so he gets 

Forgotten about.

Sorry rant over.....just feeling so frustrated all round

Parents

  • He is 14 and having to compete in a teenage world where you are expected to conform, and because of social interfacing difficulties he cannot do it. Around 14 many young people with autism worsen, simply because they become much more isolated from their peers. It becomes safder to stay at home and lock yourself away in your bedroom.

     It is a time when understanding would help and you may need to read around teenage autism to get a better understanding of what happens. But there are a lot of parents on here going through the same process with whom you can exchange ideas and strategies.

    Look up Jessica Kingsley Publishers on-line. They publish books covering lots of different aspects, including teenage blues with autism. For example "Freaks, Geeks & Asperger Syndrome - a user guide to adolescence" by Luke Jackson, was written aged 13, Jessica Kingsley Publishers 2002 ISBN 1 84310 098 1 - this code will help a librarian or bookseller find it. But there are others, from the autstic teenager's perspective, the parent's perspective, or the "expert" perspective.

    The meltdowns and aggressive behaviour may be influenced by the way he is treated in school especially by is age group - is he being bullied, mocked and ridiculed?

    On hygene and sensitivity look at the About and Living with Autism sections of the NAS website.

    Hope more people respond soon.

Reply

  • He is 14 and having to compete in a teenage world where you are expected to conform, and because of social interfacing difficulties he cannot do it. Around 14 many young people with autism worsen, simply because they become much more isolated from their peers. It becomes safder to stay at home and lock yourself away in your bedroom.

     It is a time when understanding would help and you may need to read around teenage autism to get a better understanding of what happens. But there are a lot of parents on here going through the same process with whom you can exchange ideas and strategies.

    Look up Jessica Kingsley Publishers on-line. They publish books covering lots of different aspects, including teenage blues with autism. For example "Freaks, Geeks & Asperger Syndrome - a user guide to adolescence" by Luke Jackson, was written aged 13, Jessica Kingsley Publishers 2002 ISBN 1 84310 098 1 - this code will help a librarian or bookseller find it. But there are others, from the autstic teenager's perspective, the parent's perspective, or the "expert" perspective.

    The meltdowns and aggressive behaviour may be influenced by the way he is treated in school especially by is age group - is he being bullied, mocked and ridiculed?

    On hygene and sensitivity look at the About and Living with Autism sections of the NAS website.

    Hope more people respond soon.

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