Hypersensitive to touch but want a hug from someone....

I can identify with everything Dan says.

When I was little, I used to be told to kiss my Mum goodnight. I found this incredibly distasteful, but did it because if I didn't do what I was told, I'd get beaten up. I never understood why I felt that way, just how I felt about it, but it was very puzzling to me as it didn't appear 'normal' when I observed what other people did. I'm sure that my Grandmas were equally puzzled, they were lovely to me but I saw that I didn't respond in the way that their other grandchildren did. I so wish I could go back and explain, but they're all gone now so I'm left unrequited. Very sad.

Even now, if someone encroaches on my personal space, I am immediately hugely uncomfortable, and if they touch me it burns, it's very painful. When I've been in a relationship I could only do hugs if I was in the right place, and was often 'accused' of a lack of spontaneity. Apparently, reacting to an unexpected touch by reflexively jerking away and being angry is not the expected reaction to a display of tenderness. One person's display of tenderness is another person's assault, can you tell which is which yet? LOL!

I think it's perfectly normal, for us. Whenever I've wanted a 'hug' it's been far more about my sheer existence being acknowledged, feeling close, loved and not alone than about actually being physicaly touched. This is my normality too. I still wonder about this because whilst I need to feel loved, appreciated and wanted, if that 'closeness' isn't on my terms, it's anathema to me, and so the mind-twist begins...

I can identify with everything Dan says.

When I was little, I used to be told to kiss my Mum goodnight. I found this incredibly distasteful, but did it because if I didn't do what I was told, I'd get beaten up. I never understood why I felt that way, just how I felt about it, but it was very puzzling to me as it didn't appear 'normal' when I observed what other people did. I'm sure that my Grandmas were equally puzzled, they were lovely to me but I saw that I didn't respond in the way that their other grandchildren did. I so wish I could go back and explain, but they're all gone now so I'm left unrequited. Very sad.

Even now, if someone encroaches on my personal space, I am immediately hugely uncomfortable, and if they touch me it burns, it's very painful. When I've been in a relationship I could only do hugs if I was in the right place, and was often 'accused' of a lack of spontaneity. Apparently, reacting to an unexpected touch by reflexively jerking away and being angry is not the expected reaction to a display of tenderness. One person's display of tenderness is another person's assault, can you tell which is which yet? LOL!

I think it's perfectly normal, for us. Whenever I've wanted a 'hug' it's been far more about my sheer existence being acknowledged, feeling close, loved and not alone than about actually being physicaly touched. This is my normality too. I still wonder about this because whilst I need to feel loved, appreciated and wanted, if that 'closeness' isn't on my terms, it's anathema to me, and so the mind-twist begins...