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Having Aspergers and Tourettes is a lonely life

djteknovibe

I've been single 14 years and have no friends in real life, at school I had no friends, at college I didn't have any, when I left school I didn't, when I turned 17 I started doing drugs and started going to raves, the drugs gave me confidence and from 1993-2001 I had friends. But then in 2001 I gave up drugs and my so called mates stopped hanging out with me.

Since 2001 i've not had any real life friends and spent virtually 24/7 on my own. I have two kids aged 14 and 15 who live with their mother and stay 2 nights a week, i'm always happy and smiling, I block out the lonliness like it's not there. But i'm 40 years old now and wonder what I have to do to be worth being friends with or worth being with for girls. I get ignored by 99% of people I message and it makes me fel as though i'm living outside a big dome on my own where everyone else is inside and I feel as though i'm not allowed friends or to be treated decent because of my Aspergers.

When I was doing drugs from 1993-2001 I had friends, well at least I thought they were friends, I was confident so had the courage to talk to girls. Nowadays I go places but always on my own and am near enough sompletely socially isolated. I wonder if i'll be able to ever convince people i'm worth being real life friends with and I wonder if any girls will ever think i'm worth talking to or being their boyfriend.

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  • I have been single for years and can understand how sometimes it feels like everyone else is having a fabulous time of it socially. But having been on dating sites and seen how shallow a lot of people (both male and female) are, I have given up with them. Lots of the men seemed to only want women younger than them, and were ticking ridiculous criteria like weight, job, or hair colour. Women seemed obsessed with height and salary.

    I wonder if some of the replies you had to the fake photo were actually fakes themself? I wonder if there was something else about your fake photo that attracted them, perhaps it looked like someone rich and successful that they could rip off?  There are often stories in the papers about rich but gullible people having their life savings taken by scammers who they have met online, so you may have had a lucky escape.

    If you are anything like me, you would probably do better meeting someone on neutral territory, via shared interests, rather than a dating situation. I hate being put on the spot, having to make a decision about whether I like someone when I don't actually know them yet. RS is right - intelligence, honesty, kindness etc are way more important than looks, but it is very hard to convey those traits online. And there are few things more offputting than feeling like the other person is just desperate for a partner - any partner!

    Btw I am also a retired raver!  Funnily enough one of the things I liked the most about the scene was that I very rarely got chatted up, most people were there to dance rather than pull, unlike "normal" alcohol-orientated clubs!

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  • I have been single for years and can understand how sometimes it feels like everyone else is having a fabulous time of it socially. But having been on dating sites and seen how shallow a lot of people (both male and female) are, I have given up with them. Lots of the men seemed to only want women younger than them, and were ticking ridiculous criteria like weight, job, or hair colour. Women seemed obsessed with height and salary.

    I wonder if some of the replies you had to the fake photo were actually fakes themself? I wonder if there was something else about your fake photo that attracted them, perhaps it looked like someone rich and successful that they could rip off?  There are often stories in the papers about rich but gullible people having their life savings taken by scammers who they have met online, so you may have had a lucky escape.

    If you are anything like me, you would probably do better meeting someone on neutral territory, via shared interests, rather than a dating situation. I hate being put on the spot, having to make a decision about whether I like someone when I don't actually know them yet. RS is right - intelligence, honesty, kindness etc are way more important than looks, but it is very hard to convey those traits online. And there are few things more offputting than feeling like the other person is just desperate for a partner - any partner!

    Btw I am also a retired raver!  Funnily enough one of the things I liked the most about the scene was that I very rarely got chatted up, most people were there to dance rather than pull, unlike "normal" alcohol-orientated clubs!

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