OK, so this is a fairly new territory for me, but have been at a bit of a loss for the last 15 years with my other half! He is a genuine, caring and kind person, but he has almost no ability to empathise. He is an exceptional musician and has been able to make a career out of it for himself, he has been consumed by it and is pretty much not able to focus on anything that isnt to do with music. He has a photographic memory and is able to remember hours and hours worth of music - however he cant remember what day it is ot what he has to do that day, unless he makes himself a list. He has little to no interest in other things at all, and cannot see further than the next day, planning for the future has been very one sided. We have 2 children, and it is becoming apparent that as they get older (they are 7 and 10) they are starting to exceed him emotionally. I have recently been diagnosed with a lifelong and progressive illness, which means that I have, and will continue to become more physically dependant on him. He isnt coping with it very well, and tends to always say the wrong thing, when I have been upset or worried about it, he just talks about how it effects him, and how unfair it is. There have been times when I have been in hospital and he has been at home with the kids, when he has phoned me to find out when I'm coming home becuase he doesnt know what to make for dinner. There are many other examples! I guess why I am here is that I've thought he thinks and processes things differently for a while now. There is a history of similar things in his family - his brother has a split personality and his mum is bi-polar and has OCD. Is is possible that he has learnt these strange behaviors from his mother, or is it that he has it in his own right? He spends a lot of time making lists, finding patterns in things, he didnt talk nealy at all between the ages of 9 and 13, never really had any close friends -just tends to drift from one person to another. He teaches music to a number of other people that have autism to varying degress, and commented the other day that he can see a lot of simliar patterns and behaviours in himself.
No idea where to start with getting a diagnosis! We did an online test for it the other day and it came out as 36 - well above the threshold. Is anyone in a similar position, or has anyone gone through this before? Could do with some pointers please! Or a little gentle reassurance!
