family holidays

mildredpierce said:

Hi i am sitting here in tears writing this,my 11 yr old daughter was diagnosed 2 years a go with aspergers and minor learning difficulties.We have never been on a family holiday so i thought we would just go in a caravan for a few days to ease her in ,we have paid for it ,then tonight as i tucked her up in bed she said 'Mum don't be mad at me but i don't want to go away,' i have a younger daughter who misses out on so much cos we change our plans to fit around My older daughter,i feel awful,my husband said he will stay with my daughter at home while i take my younger daughter away with her cousins,i really don't think i can leave my older dauhter,its tearing me apart.

Hi Mildred, I do feel for you, we all need to get away sometimes to recharge the batteries. I have all sorts of fears which have dogged my life and came to the conclusion that I have to face them. I remember as a child being terrified of dogs. One day, when walking home from junior school, I saw one running down the road towards me. I turned and fled, screaming loudly. The next day, the lollipop man commented about it. I was mortified with embarrassment and decided I must learn to deal with dogs in a different way. As an adult, I am still fearful of dogs, but now hold something between me and the dog, look near to it but not staring at it, and wait for it to go away, or ask the owner to restrain it. I get by now.

I understand how your daughter feels, but if she is to "have a life" as they say, she needs to learn to cope with her fears. You could perhaps take her on a long day trip and home by bed time. If you have already tried this, what about 1 night in the caravan with a promise to go home the next day if she is not coping. It may take a lot of time and reassurance on your part, perhaps your undivided attention, but may pay great dividends in the long term. She may even agree to stay longer, after trying it.

If all else fails, and you cannot persuade her to try, tell her how disappointed you are to not be able to go, as kindly as posible. She may think about and decide to try it for your sake, in the future. Girls with Autism can be very empathic. She cares about you, and may consider your needs, thus helping herself. If she cannot do it for herself, she may do it for you.

Best wishes, I do hope you sort it out.

mildredpierce said:

Hi i am sitting here in tears writing this,my 11 yr old daughter was diagnosed 2 years a go with aspergers and minor learning difficulties.We have never been on a family holiday so i thought we would just go in a caravan for a few days to ease her in ,we have paid for it ,then tonight as i tucked her up in bed she said 'Mum don't be mad at me but i don't want to go away,' i have a younger daughter who misses out on so much cos we change our plans to fit around My older daughter,i feel awful,my husband said he will stay with my daughter at home while i take my younger daughter away with her cousins,i really don't think i can leave my older dauhter,its tearing me apart.

Hi Mildred, I do feel for you, we all need to get away sometimes to recharge the batteries. I have all sorts of fears which have dogged my life and came to the conclusion that I have to face them. I remember as a child being terrified of dogs. One day, when walking home from junior school, I saw one running down the road towards me. I turned and fled, screaming loudly. The next day, the lollipop man commented about it. I was mortified with embarrassment and decided I must learn to deal with dogs in a different way. As an adult, I am still fearful of dogs, but now hold something between me and the dog, look near to it but not staring at it, and wait for it to go away, or ask the owner to restrain it. I get by now.

I understand how your daughter feels, but if she is to "have a life" as they say, she needs to learn to cope with her fears. You could perhaps take her on a long day trip and home by bed time. If you have already tried this, what about 1 night in the caravan with a promise to go home the next day if she is not coping. It may take a lot of time and reassurance on your part, perhaps your undivided attention, but may pay great dividends in the long term. She may even agree to stay longer, after trying it.

If all else fails, and you cannot persuade her to try, tell her how disappointed you are to not be able to go, as kindly as posible. She may think about and decide to try it for your sake, in the future. Girls with Autism can be very empathic. She cares about you, and may consider your needs, thus helping herself. If she cannot do it for herself, she may do it for you.

Best wishes, I do hope you sort it out.