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Is my asperger's syndrome holding me back in life?

mark123

This past week ive been very depressed with where I am in life.
Im 28 and I don't have any friends and i've never been in a relationship.

I went on my first date last week and it wasn't too bad but I just found it very hard to talk to the guy. I think it triggered something.
I don't think we're going to meet again, I don't think im going to have much luck with anyone.

I feel like I need friends/someone to talk to more than anything. Im just, very alone. I never leave the house unless its with my family. I feel like i've never lived. 

Feeling this way, I just end up crying about 3 times a day or whenever I think about my life. I don't know what to do.

I just feel like I would have a life im happy with if it wasn't for my AS. 
 

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  • I agree with Longman, your AS is not to blame, but it is a convenient scapegoat if you look for one. However, I don't think that's a helpful strategy.

    How does anyone meet anyone these days? There are all sorts of ways that people meet. If you don't go out much, there are plenty of opportunities online, although admittedly, dating websites can be pricy. Against that, where else are you going to see, and be exposed to, such a large number of people in perfect safety?

    It isn't necessary to tell anyone that you're Aspie. If they like you, they like you for who you are. If you date and it doesn't work out, that's just real life - you aren't going to like everyone you date and if it goes so badly so soon, you didn't really want to be in a relationship with that person anyway. It isn't a reflection on you, it's simply that you weren't compatible, you have no need to think that you, or your condition, are to 'blame'.

    It is said that there is someone for everyone. Fine, but the real trick still is finding them. Like Longman says, look beyond the AS, be true to yourself and don't let desparation drive your choices. If a date feels like it isn't right, it's wrong. Trust your instincts.

    And of course, your friends are always here for you Smile

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  • I agree with Longman, your AS is not to blame, but it is a convenient scapegoat if you look for one. However, I don't think that's a helpful strategy.

    How does anyone meet anyone these days? There are all sorts of ways that people meet. If you don't go out much, there are plenty of opportunities online, although admittedly, dating websites can be pricy. Against that, where else are you going to see, and be exposed to, such a large number of people in perfect safety?

    It isn't necessary to tell anyone that you're Aspie. If they like you, they like you for who you are. If you date and it doesn't work out, that's just real life - you aren't going to like everyone you date and if it goes so badly so soon, you didn't really want to be in a relationship with that person anyway. It isn't a reflection on you, it's simply that you weren't compatible, you have no need to think that you, or your condition, are to 'blame'.

    It is said that there is someone for everyone. Fine, but the real trick still is finding them. Like Longman says, look beyond the AS, be true to yourself and don't let desparation drive your choices. If a date feels like it isn't right, it's wrong. Trust your instincts.

    And of course, your friends are always here for you Smile

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