Can you suggest a good book on autism?

Hi Redd. Excuse me, but my compliments to Grandad and his grandaughter IS 'perfect', it's just that there's an extra dimension to her life that they don't yet grasp.

Grandad's grandaughter is the same person he's known for 18 years. 

There came a point after my diagnosis where I talked with as many family members as I could, to tell them. My Nieces, God bless them, said 'but you're still the Uncle ****** that we've always known, and we love you even if you are slightly odd, so what does this change?'.

I told them that I consider that both my Mum, and my sister were the same, as well as one of my own Uncles. Also, people have talked before about the 'family thingy' that everyone considered to be something 'not quite right', but no-one could or would discuss it. This I believe to be the AS trait. In the case of my Uncle, he was sectioned to a mental hospital when I was very little, but back then he had no hope of a proper diagnosis.

Everyone was 'ashamed' of having a 'loony' in the family, so it was never ever discussed. Imagine, the poor man had no help, isolated even by his own family, and he was an absolutely lovely man. This cannot, and must not, happen to our children.

So I told them all to spread the word, and to watch their own children for signs. Their reaction was almost universaly 'there's nothing wrong with my children'. I never said that there was, I said that there was every chance of doing irreparable harm to an undiagnosed AS person, and that if they chose to ignore this and did do such harm, that I never wanted to hear them missuse the word 'parent' about themselves again.

That brought the more intelligent ones up sharp.

There is nothing 'wrong' with your daughter, she is simply a different, indeed rare, individual, capable of everything that any other child is capable of, and very possibly more. If you treat her as 'able' instead of 'disabled', she will do the same as anyone else, which is 'all that she is able to do'. What more can you ask?

The best thing that your partner and Grandad can do is come onto this website and talk to us - we very much want to help, that's why we're here and choosing to answer people such as you

They're spending time doing the wrong thing. Longman knows his stuff with the books, follow his suggestions. I use the Tony Attwood book, and while it's certainly aimed at children, and indeed there are, as Longman points out, some real errors of omission, I have still found it to be a good rough guide to my inner Aspie child. However, my greatest help, support and understanding has come from talking with, and reading, other AS people. This will not always be appropriate to everyone, but I recommend it as a first stop for NTs.

I hope that you feel we're trying to be helpful and supportive, 'cos we are!

Hi Redd. Excuse me, but my compliments to Grandad and his grandaughter IS 'perfect', it's just that there's an extra dimension to her life that they don't yet grasp.

Grandad's grandaughter is the same person he's known for 18 years. 

There came a point after my diagnosis where I talked with as many family members as I could, to tell them. My Nieces, God bless them, said 'but you're still the Uncle ****** that we've always known, and we love you even if you are slightly odd, so what does this change?'.

I told them that I consider that both my Mum, and my sister were the same, as well as one of my own Uncles. Also, people have talked before about the 'family thingy' that everyone considered to be something 'not quite right', but no-one could or would discuss it. This I believe to be the AS trait. In the case of my Uncle, he was sectioned to a mental hospital when I was very little, but back then he had no hope of a proper diagnosis.

Everyone was 'ashamed' of having a 'loony' in the family, so it was never ever discussed. Imagine, the poor man had no help, isolated even by his own family, and he was an absolutely lovely man. This cannot, and must not, happen to our children.

So I told them all to spread the word, and to watch their own children for signs. Their reaction was almost universaly 'there's nothing wrong with my children'. I never said that there was, I said that there was every chance of doing irreparable harm to an undiagnosed AS person, and that if they chose to ignore this and did do such harm, that I never wanted to hear them missuse the word 'parent' about themselves again.

That brought the more intelligent ones up sharp.

There is nothing 'wrong' with your daughter, she is simply a different, indeed rare, individual, capable of everything that any other child is capable of, and very possibly more. If you treat her as 'able' instead of 'disabled', she will do the same as anyone else, which is 'all that she is able to do'. What more can you ask?

The best thing that your partner and Grandad can do is come onto this website and talk to us - we very much want to help, that's why we're here and choosing to answer people such as you

They're spending time doing the wrong thing. Longman knows his stuff with the books, follow his suggestions. I use the Tony Attwood book, and while it's certainly aimed at children, and indeed there are, as Longman points out, some real errors of omission, I have still found it to be a good rough guide to my inner Aspie child. However, my greatest help, support and understanding has come from talking with, and reading, other AS people. This will not always be appropriate to everyone, but I recommend it as a first stop for NTs.

I hope that you feel we're trying to be helpful and supportive, 'cos we are!