Hello. My name is Mike. And I'm 23 years old.
I'm new to this site and I'm currently seeing staff at Whiston over my aspergers for an assessment.
During this however I've been having a lot of difficulty with my parents lately. Especially following the weekly appointments and the decision by my GP to have my assessed for Autism following treatment for depression which she felt was being triggered effectively by autism or autistic habbits that Im unable to process proporly.
The difficulty, some of it has been occuring for years. Is kinda getting worse lately. I get really worked up when people just expect or demand I do things on the fly like they do. I need things to be planned. If it's not I get really upset and distressed. My parents are trying to set up for a camping holiday, I asked for a more specific time frame so I can let my manager (I'm on a Zero Hour contract as the work program provider I was with felt it a better place for an autistic person to work) that I won't be available for a week.
The policy however is that If I change what week or time I'm unavailable off, I will not get any shifts for either week at all. Leaving me without money for a whole week and nothing to do for the week because my parents decided to change their mind. So I asked my dad to please give me a better idea. As I worry a lot about money and work, they already demand £200 to £300 out of my £500 to £700 wage slip (I actually mean demand, they never ask for it and have tried a few times to have a Direct Debit set up behind my back, I've been notified by my bank several times now to such an attempt). After asking, my mother became extremely aggitated and started shouting at me and calling me stupid and pathetic.
She often calls me Pathetic. Especially when I'm having difficulty with something such as when I get anxious or shy in public or on the phone.
One of the largest issues I have, I'm not sure if they're being playful when she does this but from time to time my mother will have an "urge" as she calls it and laugh when she does it, she will punch, slap, scratch me or pull my hair and recently for the past 2 years she started pressing a spoon she was using to make tea against my skin. When I scream in pain or shout or cry she tells me to shut up or stop being an idiot. Or again she will call me pathetic. This has increased since I started getting assessed for autism.
When they drop me off at Whiston Hospital they don't come with me, they tell me to get out of the car and call them when I'm done and they will go shopping somewhere. Sometimes calling me crazy or asking me when I'm done if I'm going to be institutionalised yet and then get agitated when I say no.
They often shout at me. Often tell me to shut up, stop being so retarded, don't be an idiot and sometimes say under their breath "Why did we even have him".
I get the same feelings of hostility from my family in general. My mothers sisters often forget how old I am, her sisters, nieces and nephews often give me a look of disgust and look at me as if they're saying "Why are you even here". My fathers family often go quiet when I enter the room and when I leave the room they start laughing and talking.
The part that really confuses me and really makes me just cry endlessly from the stress of it all is that from time to time the family acts 100% different. Like they've done a 180* flip. My parents will randomly start telling me they love me, something I'm not used to at all because they rarely say that. Start asking me if I'd like to go out somewhere nice (usually they just leave and come back several hours later talking about having gone out somewhere and the dinner they had out and I've not even eaten yet because I have difficulty with cooking at times depending on how simple the meal is, so I generally eat sandwiches or microwave meals). My mum will try and hug me when normally if I try hugging her she will push me away, sometimes pushing me over, or she will call me names and tell me to go away.
I don't know if my parents genuinely hate me or dislike me or just find me abhorent. But It's getting to the point that I'm sometimes scared to leave my room more than usual. I don't have many friends, just the two really. So I don't have anywhere to go to get out of the way or unwind.
Is their treatment towards me normal? Will it end soon? I really hope it will end.
