• Replies 12 replies
  • Subscribers 28 subscribers
  • Views 1142 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

I actually FINALLY have a job!

Pants

After many years of being told I cannot work, even missing out on the opportunity at 16 to do work experience, I actually have a job. Admittly, it may not be the most glamorous, or well paying job, but it is a job. Saturday's 10pm-3am at a nightclub. Not bad if you ask me, considering I have sleeping diffculties, should be a breeze. One issue. Should I, or should I not tell them I have high functioning autism? 

Parents

  • I find close relationships fraught with danger. I have that Aspie tendancy to say what I think and be honest, shunning the white lies and social deceptions of NT society. The more I get to know people, the more relaxed I become, then the more likely I am to upset someone. I try to make an effort to edit what I say. People want to be with people who make them feel good. So I try to curb my tendancies to be critical or too honest. If I can't think of something that is kind as well as honest, then I say nothing. I still get mis-interpretted and at times cannot refrain from the harsh comment, but I try. If I see that I have hurt someones feelings, then I apologise for hurting them, not necessarily for holding a diferent view. I have seriously restricted the amount of alcohol I drink, when socialising, because it makes me more likely to make those unguarded coments.

    I also try to listen, rather than continually expound my own views and interests. I fail regularly at that one and then try to mitigate the situation by asking about other peoples hobbies and oppinions.

    It is not easy, but if they know about your ASD, and you can explain to them why these faux pas happen, I see no reason why you shouldn't be able to establish a good relationship. Take it slowly and if something goes wrong, leave it a while, then talk with them about it and try and get things back on track. Relationships are about give and take on both sides I find that if I admit to people that I get things wrong from their point of view, they are more tollerant and forgiving.

Reply

  • I find close relationships fraught with danger. I have that Aspie tendancy to say what I think and be honest, shunning the white lies and social deceptions of NT society. The more I get to know people, the more relaxed I become, then the more likely I am to upset someone. I try to make an effort to edit what I say. People want to be with people who make them feel good. So I try to curb my tendancies to be critical or too honest. If I can't think of something that is kind as well as honest, then I say nothing. I still get mis-interpretted and at times cannot refrain from the harsh comment, but I try. If I see that I have hurt someones feelings, then I apologise for hurting them, not necessarily for holding a diferent view. I have seriously restricted the amount of alcohol I drink, when socialising, because it makes me more likely to make those unguarded coments.

    I also try to listen, rather than continually expound my own views and interests. I fail regularly at that one and then try to mitigate the situation by asking about other peoples hobbies and oppinions.

    It is not easy, but if they know about your ASD, and you can explain to them why these faux pas happen, I see no reason why you shouldn't be able to establish a good relationship. Take it slowly and if something goes wrong, leave it a while, then talk with them about it and try and get things back on track. Relationships are about give and take on both sides I find that if I admit to people that I get things wrong from their point of view, they are more tollerant and forgiving.

Children
No Data