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Help and advice. I'm struggling

Sarah2030

my name is Sarah I'm 24 years old  I'm new to this so please bare with me with replies 

I'm in a rut at the moment. After a 3 year battle my son who is 4 years 6 months now has finally been diagnosed with autism. It's gone from me pleading with people to listen to me about my son. To finally having answers. I'm scared and somewhat relieved in a way. I don't even know what to do to help him. I don't really have anyone I can talk to about it. He seems to be getting worse. It's as if he knows he's been diagnosed and it's all coming out Now. 

my main worry at the moment is nighttimes. We have a routine where I read him a story (whilst a 5 minute timer is on) once I've finnished the story and the timer goes off it's time for bed. he ll go to bed but them spend the next 4 hours getting up coming up with excuses for example :

im sad mammy, I have an injury mammy , I need the toilet mammy. The list is endless 

is there any strategies parents have come up with to settle their LO 

i find myself crying most nights feeling rather depressed  it's not just the nighttime is a lot of things. But the nighttime is the main one. He also has a younger brother who is 2 and half  who also wake during the night. 

im literally only getting 1 hour sleep if a nighttime. And don't know what to do. Any help would be absolutely amazing. 

Thank you for taking the time to read this. 

Sarah xx

Parents

  • Sarah, I hope you can find a way to follow JennyRobin's advice. Apart from anything else, you cannot possibly expect to be able to think straight if you're permanently worn out.

    I'd like to share my experience with you if I may?

    I can't tell you how it was for my Mum, her only 'complaint' was that I 'never slept' because my 'little head was always busy'. I can recall behaving in the same way as your little man - any excuse. I would often wake in the middle of the night and creep into my parents' bedroom dragging my eiderdown with me. They had an old-fashioned frame bed and I was able to wrap myself in my eiderdown and sleep beneath it. All I can tell you is that I needed to feel safe from the monsters, and just knowing they were there was all I needed. I never woke them!

    If your child feels the need for an 'excuse' to come and find you, it's OK to tell him that he doesn't need one, that you are always there when he needs you. As for the 'no reward' tactic, you're too late of course, he's already had his reward simply in finding you. So I'd recommend a 'no further reward' strategy!

    Cuddle him, check he's OK, then put him back to bed and maybe sit for a moment. Definitely don't start a conversation!

    Lastly, I think that a physically tired child will usually sleep well, so please can I ask if you think that he perhaps need more time being physically active? Is there someone who could take him to a physical activity for you? Do you even have those opportunities?

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  • Sarah, I hope you can find a way to follow JennyRobin's advice. Apart from anything else, you cannot possibly expect to be able to think straight if you're permanently worn out.

    I'd like to share my experience with you if I may?

    I can't tell you how it was for my Mum, her only 'complaint' was that I 'never slept' because my 'little head was always busy'. I can recall behaving in the same way as your little man - any excuse. I would often wake in the middle of the night and creep into my parents' bedroom dragging my eiderdown with me. They had an old-fashioned frame bed and I was able to wrap myself in my eiderdown and sleep beneath it. All I can tell you is that I needed to feel safe from the monsters, and just knowing they were there was all I needed. I never woke them!

    If your child feels the need for an 'excuse' to come and find you, it's OK to tell him that he doesn't need one, that you are always there when he needs you. As for the 'no reward' tactic, you're too late of course, he's already had his reward simply in finding you. So I'd recommend a 'no further reward' strategy!

    Cuddle him, check he's OK, then put him back to bed and maybe sit for a moment. Definitely don't start a conversation!

    Lastly, I think that a physically tired child will usually sleep well, so please can I ask if you think that he perhaps need more time being physically active? Is there someone who could take him to a physical activity for you? Do you even have those opportunities?

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