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Bad day send me back to feeling lost

jrandall10

Hello

I am in need of help. Our daughter is seven, she has mild asd and severe spd. She acts completely fine in school apart from using a chewy and camelbak drinking bottle. Due to behaving fine in school it means we don't get any professional help. She is having a really hard time and ended up hitting me yesterday which really got to me. We always see a change in mood leading up to the holidays and no amount of preparation helps her. Does anyone have any advice? I am feeling down about it which she is picking up on but I am tired of seeing her so stressed. She is on a waiting list for cahms but they have told us the waiting list is huge. Thank you in advance for any help

Jayne xx

  • Hello and thank you for your reply. Should I leave things at school because she is happy there?

    I have spoke to her and she says no one is being mean to her. 

    The stress has subsided now the term is over but she is using her chewy loads, is that stress or just habit?

  • Hello and welcome. First of all, please do celebrate the fact that your daughter is so well behaved at school. Problems away from home are a nightmare.

    You may find, that stress levels build through the term and she is just ready for a break and a well earned rest. School is a social situation and therefore difficult. There is also the possibility that your daughter does not like the change of routine that the end of term/half term brings, but the same would apply at the end of the holidays, if that was the case. Possibly she needs some very quiet, calm down time after school. She perhaps needs to be alone, after school, playing quietly by herself. Is this feasible, or is she at an after school club or child care of some sort? If she is in childcare, perhaps they could arrange for her to be on her own for a while after school. Too much social contact is very tiring.

    If she is violent towards you, she may be doing to you, something which has been done to her. It is a way of communicating, when she does not want to speak about something or finds it difficult. If she hurts you physically, try telling her, as calmly a you can, that she has hurt you and ask her why she did it. Ask her if someone has done that to her. She may be being bullied and telling tales can be taboo. My son started twisting my fingers, one night, when I was reading his bed time story. This had been done to him at school.     The other posibility is that she is punishing you for something. Either way, if you can get her to talk about, it is a better and more socially acceptable form of communicating. Just explain that it is wrong to hurt people and she should not do it and that she must find a better way of telling you. You could also promise not to tell anyone else, or approach the school without her permission. She may not want you to rush into school to "deal with" the issue at this stage. Some times there are better strategies, like teaching her to avoid or deal with bullies herself. Sometime she may just want someone to confide in, who won't take it any further.

    I hope you enjoy the holiday.Smile