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Woman rediscovering identity

belles12345

I am new to the forum.  I have semi-self-diagnosed (won't go into detail here, awaiting NHS assessment).  Whatever the outcome of the assessment, I have found that I identify with a lot of ASC traits and the advice/literature available for people with ASC has been very beneficial for me. So here goes...

As an adult woman, I am discovering that I have spent a lot of time and energy trying to be accepted by others and to please them.  As a result (via counselling) I am aware that I have become passive and am rarely off-guard around most people.  Has anyone else felt like this?  I am starting to know myself more now and trying to become more natural and true to myself when communicating.  I wonder if anyone has any tips on how to rediscover identity as an adult woman.  Not sure if this is clear but thank you in advance.

Parents

  • How amazing to receive such supportive and helpful comments Smile  Thank you.  After years of hearing such comments like 'everyone finds it difficult and has to put on a front' and 'just stop worrying and be yourself', and pushing myself to follow this advice it is so refreshing to understand why it is just so difficult and that I am not the only one. 

    I am finding it tricky knowing what interaction I want to have as opposed to what I feel I ought to do- as I am so used to trying to fit in and not to stick out too much as shy and introverted which caused even more social exclusion in the past, particularly in work.  Now I try to communicate enough to come accross as somewhat sociable, although never end up fitting in but at least I can pretend to.  I would like to be myself (whatever this is) rather than trying to please.  I suppose by discovering more about myself this will hopefully happen eventually.  It is hard to trust others too, having been 'betrayed' so much in the past I have lost trust.

    I am very lucky to have a fantastic partner who is helping me to become myself, who doesn't get upset/offended by my moods or irritations and who shares in my happiness and laughs/joins in when I dance around at home.

    I used to express myself creatively but since there is no longer a need I have stopped doing this.  I would like to find new ways to explore my own individuality.  Morgana good luck to you too.  Marjorie 195 that's great that you have encountered so much understanding. 

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  • How amazing to receive such supportive and helpful comments Smile  Thank you.  After years of hearing such comments like 'everyone finds it difficult and has to put on a front' and 'just stop worrying and be yourself', and pushing myself to follow this advice it is so refreshing to understand why it is just so difficult and that I am not the only one. 

    I am finding it tricky knowing what interaction I want to have as opposed to what I feel I ought to do- as I am so used to trying to fit in and not to stick out too much as shy and introverted which caused even more social exclusion in the past, particularly in work.  Now I try to communicate enough to come accross as somewhat sociable, although never end up fitting in but at least I can pretend to.  I would like to be myself (whatever this is) rather than trying to please.  I suppose by discovering more about myself this will hopefully happen eventually.  It is hard to trust others too, having been 'betrayed' so much in the past I have lost trust.

    I am very lucky to have a fantastic partner who is helping me to become myself, who doesn't get upset/offended by my moods or irritations and who shares in my happiness and laughs/joins in when I dance around at home.

    I used to express myself creatively but since there is no longer a need I have stopped doing this.  I would like to find new ways to explore my own individuality.  Morgana good luck to you too.  Marjorie 195 that's great that you have encountered so much understanding. 

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