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Woman rediscovering identity

belles12345

I am new to the forum.  I have semi-self-diagnosed (won't go into detail here, awaiting NHS assessment).  Whatever the outcome of the assessment, I have found that I identify with a lot of ASC traits and the advice/literature available for people with ASC has been very beneficial for me. So here goes...

As an adult woman, I am discovering that I have spent a lot of time and energy trying to be accepted by others and to please them.  As a result (via counselling) I am aware that I have become passive and am rarely off-guard around most people.  Has anyone else felt like this?  I am starting to know myself more now and trying to become more natural and true to myself when communicating.  I wonder if anyone has any tips on how to rediscover identity as an adult woman.  Not sure if this is clear but thank you in advance.

Parents

  • Hi, I am undiagnosed too. I realised I was on the spectrum after comments from people I knew, led me to discover the work of Tania Marshal on the web. She specialises in aspergers in women.

    I agree about the identity thing. I think constant rejection by people because of having poor social skills lead us to try and be all things to all people, in an attempt to fit in. I have more recently begun to remind myself that no one is liked by everyone any more than I like everyone I meet. I think people are more aware of autism now, and I think that many people I know, now realise that I have aspergers.

    Since my retirement, I have encountered more tollerance and understanding from the people I know. This has helped me be myself more and worry a bit less about what other people think, but it is difficult to switch of from a lifetime of analysing every conversation. I think that if you relax, your true nature will shine through. Just spend time with those you get on with best and don't try too hard.

Reply

  • Hi, I am undiagnosed too. I realised I was on the spectrum after comments from people I knew, led me to discover the work of Tania Marshal on the web. She specialises in aspergers in women.

    I agree about the identity thing. I think constant rejection by people because of having poor social skills lead us to try and be all things to all people, in an attempt to fit in. I have more recently begun to remind myself that no one is liked by everyone any more than I like everyone I meet. I think people are more aware of autism now, and I think that many people I know, now realise that I have aspergers.

    Since my retirement, I have encountered more tollerance and understanding from the people I know. This has helped me be myself more and worry a bit less about what other people think, but it is difficult to switch of from a lifetime of analysing every conversation. I think that if you relax, your true nature will shine through. Just spend time with those you get on with best and don't try too hard.

Children
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