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Help - Please

henry

I hope I don't offend anyone with this thread, but I would really like some help.

My wife and I have an autistic teenager and it is fair to say life has not been easy, however the last couple of years have been very testing. My wife has never had a high libido since the kids were born, but it has come to the pont where we have only had sex 1  or 2 times in the last 2 years. I am a good hard working christian man, who although far from perfect, does try to do all I can to provide. I love my wife dearly but we have such a lack of physical connection I can feel it slipping away. If I try to suggest help, councilling she goes mad and accuses me of being selfish, so it is basically off limits. I know my wife is hormonal and depressed, and tired all the time like many others in our situation. If this is normal behaviour I would accept that and just hope the spark comes back, however I would like to know what other folk out there experiences are in situations like ours. It is really starting to cripple me emotionally, and I do not know what to do. Even with the slightest suggestion of intimacy is rebuffed with an implication I am only after one thing. My wife says she loves me, and I am sure she does, but this is so hard and I cannot see a way forward.

Parents
  • Hi all,
    As we all know a very wide range of people come to this forum to discuss things based on their particular relationship to Autism, whether it be as a sibling, person with diagnosis or a parent. The impact of having a family member on the spectrum in your family is a legitimate subject and the impact on the parent’s relationship, including sex is therefore legitimate.
    We understand discussing subjects like these can be uncomfortable for some, however, we would not want to stifle conversations of this type. The forum is a positive place for honest dialogue about important issues related to autism.
    We do not provide specific advice of relationship issues. The charity Relate http://www.relate.org.uk/ is the organisation we would recommend henry turn to in this situation. They have specialised councillors and I know they are well aware of the stresses caused by the circumstances henry describes.
    I would urge everyone to give space to this type of discussion as long as it remains sincere, is not prurient or explicit and remains within our rules of use.
    @DavidGolf47 – It is clear you are not comfortable with this conversation but please keep your posts positive and welcoming. There are others who have found this thread interesting and have contributed some positive advice. If you don’t feel this thread is appropriate for you we’d recommend exploring other threads on this forum.
    Take care,
     
    Avi
    Moderator 
Reply
  • Hi all,
    As we all know a very wide range of people come to this forum to discuss things based on their particular relationship to Autism, whether it be as a sibling, person with diagnosis or a parent. The impact of having a family member on the spectrum in your family is a legitimate subject and the impact on the parent’s relationship, including sex is therefore legitimate.
    We understand discussing subjects like these can be uncomfortable for some, however, we would not want to stifle conversations of this type. The forum is a positive place for honest dialogue about important issues related to autism.
    We do not provide specific advice of relationship issues. The charity Relate http://www.relate.org.uk/ is the organisation we would recommend henry turn to in this situation. They have specialised councillors and I know they are well aware of the stresses caused by the circumstances henry describes.
    I would urge everyone to give space to this type of discussion as long as it remains sincere, is not prurient or explicit and remains within our rules of use.
    @DavidGolf47 – It is clear you are not comfortable with this conversation but please keep your posts positive and welcoming. There are others who have found this thread interesting and have contributed some positive advice. If you don’t feel this thread is appropriate for you we’d recommend exploring other threads on this forum.
    Take care,
     
    Avi
    Moderator 
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