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Help - Please

henry

I hope I don't offend anyone with this thread, but I would really like some help.

My wife and I have an autistic teenager and it is fair to say life has not been easy, however the last couple of years have been very testing. My wife has never had a high libido since the kids were born, but it has come to the pont where we have only had sex 1  or 2 times in the last 2 years. I am a good hard working christian man, who although far from perfect, does try to do all I can to provide. I love my wife dearly but we have such a lack of physical connection I can feel it slipping away. If I try to suggest help, councilling she goes mad and accuses me of being selfish, so it is basically off limits. I know my wife is hormonal and depressed, and tired all the time like many others in our situation. If this is normal behaviour I would accept that and just hope the spark comes back, however I would like to know what other folk out there experiences are in situations like ours. It is really starting to cripple me emotionally, and I do not know what to do. Even with the slightest suggestion of intimacy is rebuffed with an implication I am only after one thing. My wife says she loves me, and I am sure she does, but this is so hard and I cannot see a way forward.

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    davidgolf47 said:

    Sure guidelines have been broken here. He mentions sex in his first ever post. Yet his post has nothing to do with Autism, it's about marriage issues, and he mentions sex too much.

    I feel is might be taking advantage of Autistic people and it's actually quite creepy, and clever what he is doing.

    I say ban him, you do not bring sex up in the first ever post. It's always a no no.

    David,

    Sex isn't a dirty little secret thing that can't be discussed. It is a normal part of adult life that can sometimes cause real problems for real people. Henry has put his question in reasonable terms and reasonable responses have been given. Nobody has been enticed or seduced into any untoward actions and no personal details have been disclosed.

    He could be a troll but so could you or I. How can you tell which posters on a forum have genuine points of view or who is just having a laugh? I could suggest that you are a troll because all of your posts have been critical and negative. Your very first post on this forum was an objection to Henry's first post. However, I don't think that you are a troll and I don't think there is any cause to complain to the moderators. Sometimes we have to work hard to suppress the urge to go for a black or white judgement about someone who we know very little about. It is prudent to suspend judgement until we see how things develop. Over the length of this thread, it seems to me, Henry has not taken it in a more disturbing direction.

    There is one interesting point for autistic people (e.g. me) to learn from this. Autistic people aren't the only people who struggle with sexual problems. NT folk struggle with these things too. NT people don't have problem free lives that that are incomparably better than autistic people's lives.

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    davidgolf47 said:

    Sure guidelines have been broken here. He mentions sex in his first ever post. Yet his post has nothing to do with Autism, it's about marriage issues, and he mentions sex too much.

    I feel is might be taking advantage of Autistic people and it's actually quite creepy, and clever what he is doing.

    I say ban him, you do not bring sex up in the first ever post. It's always a no no.

    David,

    Sex isn't a dirty little secret thing that can't be discussed. It is a normal part of adult life that can sometimes cause real problems for real people. Henry has put his question in reasonable terms and reasonable responses have been given. Nobody has been enticed or seduced into any untoward actions and no personal details have been disclosed.

    He could be a troll but so could you or I. How can you tell which posters on a forum have genuine points of view or who is just having a laugh? I could suggest that you are a troll because all of your posts have been critical and negative. Your very first post on this forum was an objection to Henry's first post. However, I don't think that you are a troll and I don't think there is any cause to complain to the moderators. Sometimes we have to work hard to suppress the urge to go for a black or white judgement about someone who we know very little about. It is prudent to suspend judgement until we see how things develop. Over the length of this thread, it seems to me, Henry has not taken it in a more disturbing direction.

    There is one interesting point for autistic people (e.g. me) to learn from this. Autistic people aren't the only people who struggle with sexual problems. NT folk struggle with these things too. NT people don't have problem free lives that that are incomparably better than autistic people's lives.

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