• Replies 34 replies
  • Subscribers 28 subscribers
  • Views 3830 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Help - Please

henry

I hope I don't offend anyone with this thread, but I would really like some help.

My wife and I have an autistic teenager and it is fair to say life has not been easy, however the last couple of years have been very testing. My wife has never had a high libido since the kids were born, but it has come to the pont where we have only had sex 1  or 2 times in the last 2 years. I am a good hard working christian man, who although far from perfect, does try to do all I can to provide. I love my wife dearly but we have such a lack of physical connection I can feel it slipping away. If I try to suggest help, councilling she goes mad and accuses me of being selfish, so it is basically off limits. I know my wife is hormonal and depressed, and tired all the time like many others in our situation. If this is normal behaviour I would accept that and just hope the spark comes back, however I would like to know what other folk out there experiences are in situations like ours. It is really starting to cripple me emotionally, and I do not know what to do. Even with the slightest suggestion of intimacy is rebuffed with an implication I am only after one thing. My wife says she loves me, and I am sure she does, but this is so hard and I cannot see a way forward.

Parents
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    That is a difficult question - I hope I don't cause any offence in replying but that is a risk.

    If life is exhausting and a trial then sex may not appeal much to one party. If she is depressed then it will also not appeal. Is there any way that you can help with lifting her out of her depression? You might call Mind (the mental health charity) to see if they have advice on how to help someone with depression. Perhaps you can consult your GP or a counsellor yourself even if she won't go herself.

    Autism is often inherited so it is possible that one or both of you have autistic traits. Have you considered that possibility? If this is the case then you may struggle to understand her or she may struggle to understand you. In either case it might lead to difficulties with sex. There is a free test at aspergerstest.net/.../

    Undiagnosed ASD can lead to depression (lots of other things can lead to depression too!) and this might be a cause of your wife's problem. it is equally possible that the sheer difficulties of bringing up an autistic daughter might cause depression too.

Reply
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    That is a difficult question - I hope I don't cause any offence in replying but that is a risk.

    If life is exhausting and a trial then sex may not appeal much to one party. If she is depressed then it will also not appeal. Is there any way that you can help with lifting her out of her depression? You might call Mind (the mental health charity) to see if they have advice on how to help someone with depression. Perhaps you can consult your GP or a counsellor yourself even if she won't go herself.

    Autism is often inherited so it is possible that one or both of you have autistic traits. Have you considered that possibility? If this is the case then you may struggle to understand her or she may struggle to understand you. In either case it might lead to difficulties with sex. There is a free test at aspergerstest.net/.../

    Undiagnosed ASD can lead to depression (lots of other things can lead to depression too!) and this might be a cause of your wife's problem. it is equally possible that the sheer difficulties of bringing up an autistic daughter might cause depression too.

Children
No Data