Looking for some advice

Is it fair to say that he doesn't understand your own health situation?

A large part of Aspergers is not being able to process non-verbal information, both to read facial expressions and body language, and to generate these aspects of communication directly. Therefore it will be very difficult for him to show the reactions he might otherwise wish to show.

Secondly if you have lived a life without those inputs and understandings you cannot expect him to have acquired social responsiveness except where he has been able to work out conventional expectations by other ways.

Thirdly if you spend a lifetime getting "burned" socially, you do tend to retreat into yourself and look for solace in solitary activities.

So it may not be so much he doesn't understand, but that he cannot respond in ways you might expect from someone not on the autistic spectrum.

You could give some thought to what, given the above constraints, he could do to be supportive. Such instruction might seem more appropriate to a child, but without social interfacing over decades, it boils down to having very simple relational and supportive activities explained.

There's a book you might find useful - "Asperger's Syndrome and Adults.... Is anyone listening? Essays and Poems by Partners, Parents and FDamily Members of Adults with Asperger's Syndrome" collected by Karen E Rodman, Jessica Kingsley Publishers 2003 (ISBN 1 84310 751 1  this code will help a librarian or book shop find it). Also try "Asperger Syndrome & Social Relationships" in the Adults Speak out about Asperger Syndrome Series, edited by G Edmonds & L Beardon  (Jessica Kingsley Pub 2008; ISBN 978 1 84310 647 0). Both these books give a variety of personal accounts of the difficulties and ways around them.

Is it fair to say that he doesn't understand your own health situation?

A large part of Aspergers is not being able to process non-verbal information, both to read facial expressions and body language, and to generate these aspects of communication directly. Therefore it will be very difficult for him to show the reactions he might otherwise wish to show.

Secondly if you have lived a life without those inputs and understandings you cannot expect him to have acquired social responsiveness except where he has been able to work out conventional expectations by other ways.

Thirdly if you spend a lifetime getting "burned" socially, you do tend to retreat into yourself and look for solace in solitary activities.

So it may not be so much he doesn't understand, but that he cannot respond in ways you might expect from someone not on the autistic spectrum.

You could give some thought to what, given the above constraints, he could do to be supportive. Such instruction might seem more appropriate to a child, but without social interfacing over decades, it boils down to having very simple relational and supportive activities explained.

There's a book you might find useful - "Asperger's Syndrome and Adults.... Is anyone listening? Essays and Poems by Partners, Parents and FDamily Members of Adults with Asperger's Syndrome" collected by Karen E Rodman, Jessica Kingsley Publishers 2003 (ISBN 1 84310 751 1  this code will help a librarian or book shop find it). Also try "Asperger Syndrome & Social Relationships" in the Adults Speak out about Asperger Syndrome Series, edited by G Edmonds & L Beardon  (Jessica Kingsley Pub 2008; ISBN 978 1 84310 647 0). Both these books give a variety of personal accounts of the difficulties and ways around them.