how do i deal with my dads advise

thank you this is very reasuring for me im just taking each day as it comes now my son has just started nursery the first week was a very distressing week for us all but this week he had been ok which is fantastic considering its a massive change to his routine i can only play each day by here as this is a new chapter in our lives and i will do anythingi can to surport my little boy 

It sounds to me as though you are well on track to dealing with this properly :-)

Your doctor is giving good advice and it sounds as though he really understands the condition. Keep talking to him and listening to his advice and reading this forum as there is lots of real exerience here.

When you look at 'alternative' therapies there are a few things to bear in mind.

Autism is a big problem for a lot of people so there is a lot of work going on. One of the biggest problems for this work is the difficulty in getting useful responses out of the patients. Autistic people are, by their very nature, poor communicators so it is difficult for researchers to know what is making a positive difference and what is not. On top of that, autisitic people respond massively to different environments as you have seen with his response to shopping. When a child is subjected to a study programme or a dietary intervention it can be difficult to separate the placebo effect of the extra attention that is involved in the study from the actual effect of the intervention itself.

I keep an open mind about most interventions but I am also very wary of people who get carried away and claim miracle cures or who claim that they have found the answer to autism. Dr Andrew Wakefield thought he found a connection between MMR and autism but his theory has been tested over and over and they have found nothing except that he was guilty of making up results. The stem cell advocates don't have any data or real theory about why a stem cell therapy would make any difference. They may have someone who appeared to respond to treatment but was the response a coincidence or the placebo affect or what? Autistic children change from time to time and indeed I have noticed that my own sensory problems have come and gone over time.

The one constant through this is that the underlying condition is unavoidable. I have the same problems now as I had 50 years ago as a child. I hated parties, had few friends at school etc etc. However, I have lead a fairly normal and successful life and have only recently needed a diagnosis due to finding myself in a hostile work environment. What I am learning is that you can make a massive difference to an autistic person's happiness by attending to the things that press their buttons.

I hope you can keep on going with working out what it means for your son and hope that he starts to talk to you soon. I think he will but it takes patience and something will set him going when he gets the opportunity and motivation to communicate.

i totaly understand your point i know that my son has a long way to go yet and i will try anything the profesionals will sugest to help his learning and even myself and his dad have adjusted our lifes for our son for instance it took me some time to actualy realise my son can not deal with going into difrent shops he would get very distresd i could not understand why he was ok wirh going food shoping but not going into and out of diffrent shops and then the dr who has been asesing my son explained that it was sensory problem and that my son understood the routine of food shopping as its something we do regular but going into town its too much im still learning about my sons needs and i know there is alot more to learn too as he is only 2 and half and non verble i am his voice and i really do appricate everyones coments this site is a massive help for me its nice to know that everyone can sugest diffrent links and advise 

There is a range of opinion and experience coming out in this thread. People with autism are as varied as non-autistic people are varied. I think it is just as dangerous to suggest that there is nothing to be done as it is to suggest that there is a miracle cure somewhere. Autism is a condition that is hardwired into us from birth so we can't cure it. We can however have very different quality of life by being brought up by people with as much understanding and knowledge as possible. Some people respond to changing diet, all autistics will I think benefit from parents and relatives who try to see things from our point of virew and consider what our lives are like.

hi crystal your right dad is finding it hard to accept it ive told him when i get the report through im going to take it over to him so he can have a read and hopefully it help him and other members of the family to understand my partner has said to say thanks dad we will look into it but my dad knows when im lying unfourtantly i really dont want to hurt his feelings i know his from a diffrent generation too where he is finding hard to accept as all the other grandkids have all grown up and my son has given dad a new lease of life i know his trying to be helpful i just have to sit down with him when they send the report out and go through it with him 

Hi - your dad's having trouble accepting his grandson's diagnosis so is looking on line to find "cures" or ways to ameliorate the condition.  A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing.  He is alerting you to info which fits in with his views.  You've already said it doesn't seem that your son has digestive problems + you are in touch with a dietician.    Adjusting to a diagnosis can be difficult for family members, even if they're expecting it. It can be distressing when a loved one and/or friend can't really adjust.  We learn a lot about ourselves and our families/friends at times like these. People adjust at their own pace + in their own way.  Have you talked to your dad about how you can all adjust to your son being autistic in a mutually supportive way?   He is trying his best to be helpful I think, altho  I personally would find the talk of cures hurtful.

Thanks i will look into these links but as I said he does not show signs of any intolerance but I will look into the links as there mite be other areas that I have not looked into 

www.researchautism.net/.../our-evaluations-interventions

The link takes you to Research Autism (collaborates with NAS as I understand it) with their evaluation of different therapies.Gluten and Casein intolerance is not reckoned to be linked to autism although you can have gluten intolerance and autism.

I'm not sure that the dietary advocates link discomfort with behaviour.

There are credible links between diet and autistic behaviour. The Feingold diet is similar to the diet advocated by Sue Dengate at http://fedup.com.au/ Personally, I think there is something in this for some people.

Thank you all for your advise it is really appreciated he does not show any signs of discomfort nor bowel problems I have an appointment with a dietician which the team who assess him have arranged I will ask all these questions I know dad means well and his only trying to look out for his grandson and it is still very early days for us all i will look up website too thank you once again all 

I don't see any need to try a diet unless there are medical grounds for doing so. If he is displaying signs of gastric discomfort, has bowel problems, or seems in pain, then he needs to visit a doctor to get tested. If his bowel movements are normal and he is not in pain, then why try a diet? As with any child, it is important he eats a healthy diet without too many additives or processed foods (which can aggravate behaviour in any child); but just because he is autistic, it does not mean he needs special  dietary treatment.

I agree that a change of diet COULD make a difference. It might be worth a try.  But you have to weigh the benifits for your son against the problems (his fear of doctors, maybe not having food he likes...).  Maybe you could try the diet and only get him tested if it looks like it makes a difference?

IMO your Dad is talking sense. Of course there is not a magic "cure", however many autistic kids have severe gut problems that cause them pain that they cannot articulate, which contribute towards behavioural issues. Many cannot tolerate gluten and/or other commonly eaten foods. Cutting it out is not going to harm him, nor will a quick blood test (which for allergies is often just a pinprick). And if it did turn out he was coeliac he could then get certain foods free on the NHS.

There is some good info here
www.treatingautism.co.uk/medical-comorbidities-in-autism-spectrum-disorder 

Also Temple Grandin also gives some good "no-nonsense" advice about diet (under biomedical treatments)
www.templegrandin.com/faq.html

If your Dad is offering to pay for a private clinic I would gracefully accept. Good luck!