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Hi..newbie and need advice?

davmac

Hi , my name is david and I would like to know if you can help me? I have now been diagnosed as autistc  I have been working for a charity as an advisor. I spoke to my boss on Thursday night about something that I felt was important about one of our clients who I met outside of work, but I called her at home. She was very rude and when I got to work the next morning was called into the office. She told me that 'I had gone so far beyond the line that I didn't even know where the line was'. She knows about my condition and says that she totally gets me but that she is 'not my counsellor, friend or my mum....I am your boss!' . She told me that I was selfish and that when I have something that I feel is important I don't care about other people. This is not the case, when I have things in my head that I can't get rid of it is like a pressure cooker and I then explode, usually at the end of the day. She offered two options, either I could return my keys and leave or I could stay and work within her strict boundaries. I feel very upset and confused and don't know what to do? I don't want to go out anymore or speak to anyone in case I cross boundaries that I shouldn't be and upset someone? I have no support network or anyone to contact to address my concerns ...David Undecided

 


Parents

  • I've had a few situations like this and it is soooo horrible!  I don't know if I can tell you the right advice, because I've been there and I've got it wrong too!

    Try not to beat yourself up. It may be that she's not willing to forgive, and then there's nothing you can do.

    Take note that she really doesn't like being disturbed at home.  LOL. (I don't answer my landline. My familly know to leave a message or call me on my mobile if it's an emergency).

    Ask her what her boundaries are on this, and think about whether you can keep to them. If not maybe you could suggest a compromise. Eg at night if you have a problem which is bugging you, could you write her an email?  (Then it would be her decision to answer or not). Or failing that write a letter which you can give her on arrival the next day?

    PS: I think if she really 'got' you she'd be trying to understand your actions and explain why she didn't like it. Not just telling you it isn't her job. A good boss should help the people they supervise to improve as much as they can. Yes, you can't expect her to be superwoman and spend all her time 'training' you, but she should try and work it out with you.

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  • I've had a few situations like this and it is soooo horrible!  I don't know if I can tell you the right advice, because I've been there and I've got it wrong too!

    Try not to beat yourself up. It may be that she's not willing to forgive, and then there's nothing you can do.

    Take note that she really doesn't like being disturbed at home.  LOL. (I don't answer my landline. My familly know to leave a message or call me on my mobile if it's an emergency).

    Ask her what her boundaries are on this, and think about whether you can keep to them. If not maybe you could suggest a compromise. Eg at night if you have a problem which is bugging you, could you write her an email?  (Then it would be her decision to answer or not). Or failing that write a letter which you can give her on arrival the next day?

    PS: I think if she really 'got' you she'd be trying to understand your actions and explain why she didn't like it. Not just telling you it isn't her job. A good boss should help the people they supervise to improve as much as they can. Yes, you can't expect her to be superwoman and spend all her time 'training' you, but she should try and work it out with you.

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