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New and Confused

November

Hi

 

Im not sure if I should be posting this here so apologies if Im in the wrong place.

 

I am becoming more concerned about my 3 year old's behaviour and I dont know if its something or nothing. My husband is dismissive of any concerns I have and when I have tentatively raised it to my parents before I could tell they think I am looking for a problem. I therefore feel very alone with these worries and have no-one to talk to.

 

She has always been different to my other 2 in terms of behaviour and has some obvious sensory issues, she cant wear certain clothes and cant stand getting water (even just a drop) on her clothes or she will have a total meltdown. She prefers to be naked and I spend most of the day convincing her to put her clothes back on. She even stripped off in the middle of the doctors surgery waiting room last week. I guess clothes just annoy her? I thought the water thing might be getting better but its come back with avengence the past couple of weeks and she is becoming more distressed by it. Last night she was upstairs and I kept hearing this funny noise, I went up to see what she was doing (was supposed to be in bed), she had found my metal bangle and was dropping it from as high as she could reach over and over again on the tiled floor. I guess she liked the noise but still it got my thinking should I be putting this down to just normal toddler stuff or not? She is very socially confident, sometimes almost uncomfortably so if that makes sense. She talks a lot and speaks well. Last week we were out and she stopped to chat to a group of 3 adults to tell them about her t-shirt and what her favourite colours were. I could tell they were a bit taken aback at how bold she was and it was a struggle to get her to carry on walking. She seems to just say what she is thinking about and doesnt care who she says it to. But then again, she is 3 so I dont know. The other thing is that for most of the day she has a small hard toy in her hand, during the summer it was a little plastic doll which she didnt play with but just had to hold the whole time (and I mean the whole time). At the moment its a little turtle toy, again, she doesnt play with it just holds it all day. When I do drawing with her the people always have to have sad faces which makes me worry. We are a happy, loving family and I would very much like to think give our kids a lot of security, emotional and otherwise.

 

Thank you so much in advance for any kind of advice you can give me.

 

 

 

 

Parents
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    I support what outraged and dcrystal have said here.

    I think you really need to start laying the foundations for her happy childhood. You need to be unreasonably fair, reasonable and consistent with her. You will have to teach her some things, like who strangers are, and put much more effort into this than you would for a non-autistic child. Try really, really hard not to lose your cool and try and back up your instruction with logical reasons WHY she should do X or not do Y. If you need to stop her doing something then be calm but firm and quietly remove her from the situation to a quieter, less stimulating place.

    You sound as though this will all sound reasonable and unsurprising but a lot of children are brought up by parents who believe in strict discipline and physical punishment. An autistic child is likely to be baffled and angered by arbitrary acts that are not backed up with any justification. Positive parenting, is just "best practice" for any child but will actually make the difference between a smart and intelligent young person and a broken and distraught autistic person.

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    I support what outraged and dcrystal have said here.

    I think you really need to start laying the foundations for her happy childhood. You need to be unreasonably fair, reasonable and consistent with her. You will have to teach her some things, like who strangers are, and put much more effort into this than you would for a non-autistic child. Try really, really hard not to lose your cool and try and back up your instruction with logical reasons WHY she should do X or not do Y. If you need to stop her doing something then be calm but firm and quietly remove her from the situation to a quieter, less stimulating place.

    You sound as though this will all sound reasonable and unsurprising but a lot of children are brought up by parents who believe in strict discipline and physical punishment. An autistic child is likely to be baffled and angered by arbitrary acts that are not backed up with any justification. Positive parenting, is just "best practice" for any child but will actually make the difference between a smart and intelligent young person and a broken and distraught autistic person.

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