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how do i make and keep friends???

davek75

hi

im nearly 40 years old, i have aspergers and have spent most of my life alone! those that have the pleasure of my company for a short while, say im an amazing guy, kind, gentle, loving, and very honest and open... but for some strange reason i just cant stay friends??? is it my autism?? is it me?? WHY DO I FIND IT SO DIFFICULT TO KEEP FRIENDSHIPS???? HELP!!! :(

Parents

  • True about health professionals and lots of other people. If asked or told I don't seem autistic I say that the appearance of normality is no guide to the effort required to acheive it - its exhausting.

    I have no real clue to the mystical way that NTs make friends. I went on a day's mountainbiking course for women - I'll meet other people I thought. Six women, we all chatted but by the end everyone else but me had swapped numbers and arranged to meet for rides. No idea what I did wrong or didn't do at all.

    I would like some good friends rather than acquaintances. But if I could only get them by pretending to be something I'm not, would they really be my friends? They wouldn't know the real me, only a person who worked hard at the right amount of eye contact, made sure to ask the right questions and to appear interested in the right places.

Reply

  • True about health professionals and lots of other people. If asked or told I don't seem autistic I say that the appearance of normality is no guide to the effort required to acheive it - its exhausting.

    I have no real clue to the mystical way that NTs make friends. I went on a day's mountainbiking course for women - I'll meet other people I thought. Six women, we all chatted but by the end everyone else but me had swapped numbers and arranged to meet for rides. No idea what I did wrong or didn't do at all.

    I would like some good friends rather than acquaintances. But if I could only get them by pretending to be something I'm not, would they really be my friends? They wouldn't know the real me, only a person who worked hard at the right amount of eye contact, made sure to ask the right questions and to appear interested in the right places.

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