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Is a stable relationship even possible?

tellan42

Hi, I'm 36 Years old, I think I have Aspergers. I have most/some of the symptoms but was never diognosed. Seem like i have only the negativ stuff not the gifts. Because of why I'm writing here.. I had a relationship lately ended. She was really in love with me and very crushed when i ended it. I never said it to here. The relationship took about 4 Months , i think. It was nice, but i knew it was not the real thing for me, but i waited and wanted to see if it works afterall. Unfortunately not. I hurt here pretty badly with my ending and I really couldn't say why i've done it. I just stand there and stared at her. I was frozen in this Situation. I didnt could tell her all the details that were brothering me from here. I was just thinking all the time, when she was yelling at me "Get out of here, just leave". After she was finished yelling and crying, she was gone. Now Im really broke down, not because of that she is gone. Because of that I hurt her so much and I couldnt see that I was doing it to her. I want a relationship, but ist not easy. All the time to hold back with yout "ticks", trying to accept the bothering details of the other person. "Do" what you are obligated to do in a relationship.... I mean i like the propinquity in a relationship, if its not overbearing for me. Maybe I have to find "The One". I dont know.

With regards

Parents

  • Thanks for all the input. Yes I know, you have to "give" something when you are taking something. I did it, but some stuff didn't come from "the heart". Ich hope you understand what I mean. I did certain social behavior because of "this is how you to it". For different social occasions, I have my "mind control lists". Unfortunately for some intime personal interaction too. Yes, I should have told her the truth.

    But these mind list there are brothering me, why cant i function normaly without it. When she said, she loves me. I said it back, even I didn't mean it truthfully. Because she was expecting it, in this very moment. This makes me very depressing and angry. She thinks now I'm a stubid a*****e and I did her only because of the sex (it was not even good sex - for me). I really hope I don't screw up the next time. Not like this.

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  • Thanks for all the input. Yes I know, you have to "give" something when you are taking something. I did it, but some stuff didn't come from "the heart". Ich hope you understand what I mean. I did certain social behavior because of "this is how you to it". For different social occasions, I have my "mind control lists". Unfortunately for some intime personal interaction too. Yes, I should have told her the truth.

    But these mind list there are brothering me, why cant i function normaly without it. When she said, she loves me. I said it back, even I didn't mean it truthfully. Because she was expecting it, in this very moment. This makes me very depressing and angry. She thinks now I'm a stubid a*****e and I did her only because of the sex (it was not even good sex - for me). I really hope I don't screw up the next time. Not like this.

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