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Is a stable relationship even possible?

tellan42

Hi, I'm 36 Years old, I think I have Aspergers. I have most/some of the symptoms but was never diognosed. Seem like i have only the negativ stuff not the gifts. Because of why I'm writing here.. I had a relationship lately ended. She was really in love with me and very crushed when i ended it. I never said it to here. The relationship took about 4 Months , i think. It was nice, but i knew it was not the real thing for me, but i waited and wanted to see if it works afterall. Unfortunately not. I hurt here pretty badly with my ending and I really couldn't say why i've done it. I just stand there and stared at her. I was frozen in this Situation. I didnt could tell her all the details that were brothering me from here. I was just thinking all the time, when she was yelling at me "Get out of here, just leave". After she was finished yelling and crying, she was gone. Now Im really broke down, not because of that she is gone. Because of that I hurt her so much and I couldnt see that I was doing it to her. I want a relationship, but ist not easy. All the time to hold back with yout "ticks", trying to accept the bothering details of the other person. "Do" what you are obligated to do in a relationship.... I mean i like the propinquity in a relationship, if its not overbearing for me. Maybe I have to find "The One". I dont know.

With regards

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  • No, I'm not in a stable relationship, and my opinions come from a combination of learning from my own mistakes and learning from friends' and relatives' mistakes. I've seen relationships torn apart from one partner not being his or herself and hiding their true selves and it has never been pretty. You may have interpreted my post as coming across in such a manner but that was not my intention and I do not believe it came across like that in general. To be honest, it does kinda look like you're trying to score points... Obviously one should be considerate towards one's partner but that is a far cry from holding back "tics" by which I assume tellan is referring to aspie traits. I think you're applying having autism too much in this case - almost everyone in a relationship does things that affect their partner negatively without necessarily knowing how its affecting their partner, regardless of whether they are NT or ASD

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  • No, I'm not in a stable relationship, and my opinions come from a combination of learning from my own mistakes and learning from friends' and relatives' mistakes. I've seen relationships torn apart from one partner not being his or herself and hiding their true selves and it has never been pretty. You may have interpreted my post as coming across in such a manner but that was not my intention and I do not believe it came across like that in general. To be honest, it does kinda look like you're trying to score points... Obviously one should be considerate towards one's partner but that is a far cry from holding back "tics" by which I assume tellan is referring to aspie traits. I think you're applying having autism too much in this case - almost everyone in a relationship does things that affect their partner negatively without necessarily knowing how its affecting their partner, regardless of whether they are NT or ASD

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