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Is a stable relationship even possible?

tellan42

Hi, I'm 36 Years old, I think I have Aspergers. I have most/some of the symptoms but was never diognosed. Seem like i have only the negativ stuff not the gifts. Because of why I'm writing here.. I had a relationship lately ended. She was really in love with me and very crushed when i ended it. I never said it to here. The relationship took about 4 Months , i think. It was nice, but i knew it was not the real thing for me, but i waited and wanted to see if it works afterall. Unfortunately not. I hurt here pretty badly with my ending and I really couldn't say why i've done it. I just stand there and stared at her. I was frozen in this Situation. I didnt could tell her all the details that were brothering me from here. I was just thinking all the time, when she was yelling at me "Get out of here, just leave". After she was finished yelling and crying, she was gone. Now Im really broke down, not because of that she is gone. Because of that I hurt her so much and I couldnt see that I was doing it to her. I want a relationship, but ist not easy. All the time to hold back with yout "ticks", trying to accept the bothering details of the other person. "Do" what you are obligated to do in a relationship.... I mean i like the propinquity in a relationship, if its not overbearing for me. Maybe I have to find "The One". I dont know.

With regards

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    If you apply your aspie perfectionist, black and white thinking to this then you are liable to be disappointed. If you can see a way of making it work without looking to pick faults in your partner then you might succeed. Relationships take work and give and take. They do not come on a plate. They do not come without obligations and there is no such thing as a free lunch. Good relationships require respect between the parties but they do not have to be between equal people with equal interests.

    It is possible, as Azalea says, I've done these things and our partnership has survived through a few ups and downs. It is actually better now that I have a diagnosis as I can see how my traits have tested the relationship. Understanding the condition means I am less stressed and I am less irritating to be around! SWMBO also understands me better so it's a win-win so far.

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    If you apply your aspie perfectionist, black and white thinking to this then you are liable to be disappointed. If you can see a way of making it work without looking to pick faults in your partner then you might succeed. Relationships take work and give and take. They do not come on a plate. They do not come without obligations and there is no such thing as a free lunch. Good relationships require respect between the parties but they do not have to be between equal people with equal interests.

    It is possible, as Azalea says, I've done these things and our partnership has survived through a few ups and downs. It is actually better now that I have a diagnosis as I can see how my traits have tested the relationship. Understanding the condition means I am less stressed and I am less irritating to be around! SWMBO also understands me better so it's a win-win so far.

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