Do us autistics see gender identity different?

I'm not diagnosed (in the process of being assessed) but I am really interested in the different interactions between autism and identity. There is a big stereotype/public confusion (or ignorance, ableism, bigotry, etc) around like "why are all disabled people trans and gay and have dyed hair and piercings???!??!?!" but in reality it's not that hard to link together if you think about it more.

In general, disabled people (this is mostly talking about physical disability) may feel as if they have had something "taken away from them" like their energy, their fun, their ability to do things, sometimes their body, etc. So outward expression (style, hair, piercings) is a form of taking back control over their body.

So then for autistic people, I think it's more about how social norms are not interpreted the same way as allistics, and they tend to "stick" less with autistic people because it's like "I like this, so why can't I do it?" not caring about "this is a girl thing, this is a boy thing". Or otherwise, autistic people may have felt like they don't fit in constantly throughout their lives, and outward expression (whether it be gender expression, style, hair, piercing, etc) may also be a form of taking back control, so that they stand out again, but in a different way, because why not stand out more?

With the social norms, it's also why you might see older autistic people proudly dressing more "childish", which is just reflecting their special interests majority of the time, because there's less internalised shame and standard over dressing a certain way. This obviously depends on an individual to individual basis, but that's mostly what I've observed. In my opinion/from what I've seen, the social norms aspect of things generally applies more to earlier diagnosed autists, and the standing out because I haven't fit in anyway aspect of things generally applies more to later diagnosed autists.

And that is probably why you see a bunch of gay trans alternative autistic or otherwise disabled people!

I'm also non-binary, bisexual, and alternative lol

I'm not diagnosed (in the process of being assessed) but I am really interested in the different interactions between autism and identity. There is a big stereotype/public confusion (or ignorance, ableism, bigotry, etc) around like "why are all disabled people trans and gay and have dyed hair and piercings???!??!?!" but in reality it's not that hard to link together if you think about it more.

In general, disabled people (this is mostly talking about physical disability) may feel as if they have had something "taken away from them" like their energy, their fun, their ability to do things, sometimes their body, etc. So outward expression (style, hair, piercings) is a form of taking back control over their body.

So then for autistic people, I think it's more about how social norms are not interpreted the same way as allistics, and they tend to "stick" less with autistic people because it's like "I like this, so why can't I do it?" not caring about "this is a girl thing, this is a boy thing". Or otherwise, autistic people may have felt like they don't fit in constantly throughout their lives, and outward expression (whether it be gender expression, style, hair, piercing, etc) may also be a form of taking back control, so that they stand out again, but in a different way, because why not stand out more?

With the social norms, it's also why you might see older autistic people proudly dressing more "childish", which is just reflecting their special interests majority of the time, because there's less internalised shame and standard over dressing a certain way. This obviously depends on an individual to individual basis, but that's mostly what I've observed. In my opinion/from what I've seen, the social norms aspect of things generally applies more to earlier diagnosed autists, and the standing out because I haven't fit in anyway aspect of things generally applies more to later diagnosed autists.

And that is probably why you see a bunch of gay trans alternative autistic or otherwise disabled people!

I'm also non-binary, bisexual, and alternative lol