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assesment geting closer

north london mum

hi my sons assesment is nearing and im starting to get nervous although ive been told what will happen it still does not take my nervousness away as its the not knowing my baby is only 2 and half i wish we did not have to go trough this i spoke to my partner the other day i asked him how is going to feel at the end of it all his more worried about my reaction ive been seeing a counciler too she has seen me and my son a few times now she thinks he has autism too ive spoke to her that what do we do if the test comes back and says he has not got  autism where do we go from there she said she would be ver surprised if they came back and said he has not got autism i feel like ive already accepted it but need to here it from them i need to see it in black and white i thimk i already know in my heart how im going to react im going to want to cry and scream and shout tell them they got it wrong ill probbaly want to run out of there to my sons nursery and go and get him i tell him everysingle day that i love hima nd no matter what happens i will do everything in my power to help him whatever life trows at us sorry for this im just so emotional right now that this is the only way i can get it out my son is non verbal and communicates with hand gestures he is so smart and inteligent i hope when he does start nursey that it mite help him with his speech but it is what it is i think telling family and friends will be hardest ive already said to my partner if they cant accept it or are too stubborn and say stupid stuff i will quite happily cut them out of our lives i need people that will surport us not judge

  • oh bless you i can imagin how you must be feeling my son is also very a very loving little boy despite one friend saying if he had autism he wouldnt be coming up to me smiling and giving me a hug because people with autism dont do that i felt like re educating her but i took it on the chin like most comments ive had but when it comes to the report i feel like making a dozen copys just to give to those just concentrate on your son and new baby just remember no one knows your child better then you your his mum all the best for the future xxx

  • Thank you north london mum... Yes we hold onto hope that it is all a bad dream but it isn't... My son is a lovely, smiley affectionate boy- the first thing he did at assessment when he felt uncomfortable was run to me & get a cuddle & then slowly started interacting with the team members.

    All the best for your sons assesement- it might feel like a bolt of lightening when they confirm what you already suspect.... i felt quiet upset that they focused on his weaknessES at the briefing than his strengths (think they didn't want me to get any false reassurance)... But I know my little boy & I know his strengths & I know he will cope... I also have a little 2 month old baby & with BF my hormones are all over the place... hence a bit teary eyed 

  • hi proud of him my heart goes out to you and your son im sure you will have every single bit of strength to surport him i think its the shock of it as although we still hold out hope but in our hearts we know i think hearing it and seeing it in black and white we dont mentaly prepare for it bit as you say with all stength love and oppertunities  we as there mums and dads will make sure there lives are less stresfull and help them to make sense of the world around them remember tomorow is a brand new day and i hope you get the surport you and your son needs xx

  • thank you sproutsma you are so right about having to educate people what i find hard is with friends and family members is trying to explain they only see him every now and then they dont see what i see everyday with him they dont see the meltdowns they dont see that when i go out i can not go into shops to have a look around simply because he will start kicking and screaming in his buggy and trying to get out of his buggy how his devloped a fear of the drs and as soon as we go in there even if its to pick a prescription up he will become distressed but your right if they dont notice then i shouldnt have to explain my son to them hope all goes well for you and your little boy too xx

  • I am new here- my 3 year old son just got his diagnosis today- it's a grim day.... But I love my little man to bits & hope I have the strength to cope & give him all the care & love & opportunities he needs 

  • Hi north london mum -  I know exactly how you feel.  OUr little boy is 2 and a half and we are facing the same thing.  What you will do when they tell you is exactly what you are doing for him now - you will tell him you love him and do anything you can to make sure he has what he needs.  You will probably also cry and ask why but I think we need to do that to start again from new.

    Remember you will probably have to educate people a bit when explaining to them - I know I do, all the time.  But to be honest - if they dont notice, why tell them.  My promise to my son if we get the diagnosis  is that I will help people to understand that asd is part of him, not all of him.

    Loads of luck x