I want to live in a tropical paradise

I'm very ill and struggling day to day.

I would like to live in Asia. Maybe Singapore, Thailand or Vietnam etc.

I won't get any financial support anymore if I do. 

I can't go right now as I'm looking after my disabled mother. She needs me to function. She asked me to stay with her until she passes (God forbid). Her husband died so I look after her. She drives me nuts, but I make she sure is is ok and happy.

I'm not sure how to move there. I know it's a bad idea as my symptoms are getting worse.

My stomach is swelled and my diverticulosis is getting worse. I can't talk about my symptoms as it's NSFW, but I know my time is shortened. I'm always fatigued. Hard to wake up.

I don't talk to my sister as she is toxic. She has a firm grip on my mother and I know I will not get my half of the will. My mother will not talk to me about the will arrangement and I respect that, even though I also have power of attorney.

If she doesn't get what she wants, she blocks my mother from seeing her grandchildren on FaceTime. Just awful.  

I don't get involved as they do as they wish and I think they are anti male.

I have no children or a significant other.

I want to pass away in paradise.

What are your thoughts? Don't hold back Slight smile

  • It doesn’t sound weird to me. It sounds like you want to be somewhere that feels right. The sea always feels right to me. I’m sorry to hear you are so poorly. 

  • What I'm going to say is weird. I just want to sit on the beach and watch the ocean. My medication stops the pain, but I can feel my stomach. My colon is swollen. My GP doesn't know how servere my stomach has got. I try to book an appointment with him, but he is always fuly booked. I don't want surgery. 

    I'm ready to go now. I'm going to sell/give away all of my belongings.

    I'm at peace with it. My body is telling me it is shutting down. It's getting worse each week. My mother keeps telling me to go to the ER.

    I can't be hosptialised as I have to look after her.

    Going to Asia is a kamikaze, so the danger is irrelevent. I will be very respectful there.

  • As Marianne says, paradise in the photos isn’t always the same in real life. Could you settle for paradise a little closer to home? Here in UK there are some beautiful places and plenty of coastline. Spanish coast is really lovely. Your post is sad as it sounds like family life isn’t great and I can empathise with you there. 

  • Thanks for replying Marianne72,

    You're right about the reality. I could just die here, but where in the fun in that? :) It's just a fantasy that might just reach fruition. I hope it does.

    I just want to be near the sea. I want to see it everyday. 

  • I want to pass away in paradise.

    These places might seem like paradise from pictures, documentaries and films, but the reality will be entirely different - different cultures, wild animals, disease-bearing insects, incredible heat, climate change issues, different government systems. If you don't speak any of the languages, how would you manage to live and how would you fit in? And I suspect autism services are not widely available. You are doing what is called, 'sky blue' [unrealistic] thinking because of your present problems. This is understandable.

    Wouldn't it be better to discuss your worries with someone? If you have PoA, are there any help services for you within the court system? I'm sure the mods will come up with useful links. Meanwhile, keep posting and also turn your focus on some of the frivolous threads to divert yourself. Very best wishes!