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It's official! - BBC news 'solitude as an aspirational lifestyle'

Marianne72

At last, it appears we're becoming mainstream Thinking ! Read this BBC news article. 'Solitude as an aspirational lifestyle: 'We are not lonely.''

I admit that at first I felt miffed [strangely], as if 'normal' people had encroached on my chosen solitary space, turning it into 'a thing'. For years, before discovering I was autistic, being solitary was a lifestyle I felt I'd created - something special. I'd endured the usual remarks - 'everyone needs someone' 'what about when you get old?' - constantly reading in the media trite remarks like the greatly over-used, 'billy no-mates.' But perhaps it will prove to be a good thing. Those with psycho-pathologies that lead them to commit crime to, 'get noticed' might at last feel understood; their state becoming 'socially acceptable', instead of a cause for taunting. Others who feel lonely and for whom the lifestyle is not an actual choice, might feel relieved that they are, 'normal'. 

Is this revelation a good or bad thing as far as you're concerned? 

Parents

  • I welcomed the article as a first step, but disliked the two ways in which it minimised the women's experience. The first was quoting a psychologist:

    "Everybody's lonely at some point, but some people are not OK admitting that," says Professor Melody Ding, an epidemiologist researching social connection and loneliness at the University of Sydney ...acknowledges that people's social needs vary at different stages of life, but Ding's hope for those who have lost relationships is that they can eventually "de-emphasise" the friendless aspect of their lives and forge new social bonds."

    The second was ending the piece with a quote from each of the three women which undermines the piece:
    "Those online connections have made Hoadley excited for a future where she finds a "little group of girlfriends". Noehring hopes to one day organise a real world meet-up with her virtual community, and Isa says the support has given her the "push" she needed to start thinking about making friends again."

    Those two things came across to me as a reassurance for allistic adults that solitude is an aberration and even those who say they enjoy it really want a 'normal' social life.

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  • I welcomed the article as a first step, but disliked the two ways in which it minimised the women's experience. The first was quoting a psychologist:

    "Everybody's lonely at some point, but some people are not OK admitting that," says Professor Melody Ding, an epidemiologist researching social connection and loneliness at the University of Sydney ...acknowledges that people's social needs vary at different stages of life, but Ding's hope for those who have lost relationships is that they can eventually "de-emphasise" the friendless aspect of their lives and forge new social bonds."

    The second was ending the piece with a quote from each of the three women which undermines the piece:
    "Those online connections have made Hoadley excited for a future where she finds a "little group of girlfriends". Noehring hopes to one day organise a real world meet-up with her virtual community, and Isa says the support has given her the "push" she needed to start thinking about making friends again."

    Those two things came across to me as a reassurance for allistic adults that solitude is an aberration and even those who say they enjoy it really want a 'normal' social life.

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