People judging

It is good to hear your neighbours seem sympathetic. Eight o'clock is not unduly late, but hopefully your son's condition will improve over time so that the outbursts reduce in number

Thanks for your response Hope. In answer to your question it was 8 o'clock in the evening when it happened, he's not had a good week due to his anxiety and depression. I bought some flowers for my neighbours and I've had a chat. They thought that with my sons condition I would have a raft of support to call upon when he is like that. I haven't, I'm a single parent with no close family near by. it is a problem in society that we live in each other's lives but like you say we need to find common ground to understand each other and move forward.....thanks

I ,too, can see the problem from both sides, as an Autistic person.

Because I have Autism (Asperger's type), I sometimes have outbursts of bad temper when I will scream, shout, slam doors and throw things. I know that the neighbours must hear this noise because the walls are paper thin, but when I am in the midst of an outburst, this is the last thing on my mind. Our neighbours have never complained, probably because my outbursts are very rare, although extreme when they do occur.

However, if I was the next door neighbour, I think I would get angry at the noise because of my noise sensitivities. It is not so much about a lack of empathy as a real physical response to noise. I would imagine that some non Autistic neighbours will also have a low sound tolerance, as we all have different thresholds. What time, may I ask, was your son having the tantrum? I can understand why someone would not be amused if it occurred in the middle of the night. Was the neighbour's tone aggressive or gentle?

On the other hand, your son has Autism and cannot control his outbursts. THey are not his fault, but the neighbour might not understand this. Unfortunately walls are often paper thin, an endemic problem in our built up society where people are expected to live in such close proximity, despite having different needs and lifestyles.

I think you should try and see your neighbour's point of view, while encouraging the neighbour to better understand your predicamment. There is no right or wrong here, but empathy requires both sides to understand each other's needs - your neighbours need to sleep, and your need to have your son's disability accomodated and understood.

:-) Glad that you liked my post. Hope goes well when you talk to them. The link isn't an article, it's a search result for previous discussions on here about noisy neighbours. It illustrates the problem from both sides.

Thanks I am going armed with leaflets on living with autism and in case I struggle to find the words...I get very emotional when it comes to my son...I've wrote them a letter And my sons going to draw a picture, well once he gets up off the kitchen floor!! 

I will have a read of that article ...thanks..great having like minded people who understand 

Can I suggest you look at the previous posts about noisy neighbours?

community.autism.org.uk/.../"noisy neighbours"

There are two sides to this problem. Autistic people are just as likely to suffer from the hell of having noisy neighbours as they are of being the noisy neighbour themselves.

If you do go round then you could apologise for the noise but explain that the problem is your child's autism and try to get them on your side and try to get some sympathy from them. Appeal for help rather than go in fighting.

that's horrible ... It just adds more stress and worry when all we want is to care for our children. Autistic children aren't the quietest children but it's their way of communicating. What is wrong with these people? I'm going round to talk to my neighbours today as I feel they need to understand, maybe it's the wrong approach but we will see. So pleased it's not just me X

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I may sound like I'm on a rant but in fact I'm feeling so upset. My teenage son is autistic and suffers from depression. He's not had a great week then tonight he had a huge tantrum and threatened to hurt himself...in the middle of this my neighbour knocked at the door and said we were stopping his granddaughter getting to sleep..then it hit me...Why can't people show an empathy and understanding for our children. I am trying my best and all people do is judge, why not compassion? Does anyone else understand how I'm feeling? 

I understand you complete as some of my neighbours go to the extand to call the police to come and check if the children are fine as they are making some much noise