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Going into the future

K.aylee07

I have a daughter whom was diagnosed at the age of 18, through primary school she was very quiet and shy and it was a little village school so only 40 kids max so she had a lot of 1:1 support.

Secondary school was much different, she struggled to make friends and only had approx 2-3, after attending school all day she would isolate herself in her bedroom and 9 times out of 10 needed to sleep. I didn't realise at the time she was exhausted from masking all day to her friends to "appear" like them and needed the sleep to regulate herself. She also attended the school nurse whom palmed her off as "depressed" which did really make her feel low and more lonely.

She now attends college and has been here for 2 years, they was very attentive and picked up that she struggled in areas of her time being there. They was truly helpful in helping me get a diagnosis for her. They've been great with making reasonable adjustments to support her through her lessons and exams. 

Now she's going into her 3rd year I can't help but notice her anxiety levels have heightened. She's struggling to leave the house unless accompanied by a family member, I run her to and from college already but if we are in a shop and I ask her to ask a staff member something she is now breaking down, crying, breathing fast, refusing to stay in the shop and just wants to be home in her safe space. This anxiety is anything to do with something outside the home. 

Can anyone relate to becoming more anxious as they got older and had to have more adult responsibilities? What methods worked for you? Can the doctors or anywhere else help? I don't know where to turn. 

I can't help but worry as she's nearly at employment age and I can't hold her hand through the process, if I'm not there to help she will completely refuse to go and have a breakdown and this is breaking my heart to see her distressed. 

Parents

  • Hello Kaylee, and thank you for reaching out.  I am so sorry to hear the difficulties that your daughter is experiencing - it sounds incredibly distressing.  I hope that our community members can offer you some advice and support.

    You may also like to have a look at these NAS guidance pages for information that might be helpful to you and your daughter:

    Transitions - Help with transitioning between areas of life, e.g. school to college or college to employment.

    Employment - Information on how to find work, support on finding a job, reasonable adjustments that can be requested.

    Anxiety - Information on anxiety and how to access support, e.g. counselling or therapies.  Speaking to your GP in the first instance is recommended, as they are best placed to be able to signpost your daughter to further help.

    It may also be a good idea to speak to your daughter's college, as you mention they have been supportive of her needs and reasonable adjustments in the past, and they may be able to offer extra help while she is there.

    I hope this can be of some help to you.  Good luck to you and your daughter, and please do feel free to post again and let us know how she is getting on.

Reply

  • Hello Kaylee, and thank you for reaching out.  I am so sorry to hear the difficulties that your daughter is experiencing - it sounds incredibly distressing.  I hope that our community members can offer you some advice and support.

    You may also like to have a look at these NAS guidance pages for information that might be helpful to you and your daughter:

    Transitions - Help with transitioning between areas of life, e.g. school to college or college to employment.

    Employment - Information on how to find work, support on finding a job, reasonable adjustments that can be requested.

    Anxiety - Information on anxiety and how to access support, e.g. counselling or therapies.  Speaking to your GP in the first instance is recommended, as they are best placed to be able to signpost your daughter to further help.

    It may also be a good idea to speak to your daughter's college, as you mention they have been supportive of her needs and reasonable adjustments in the past, and they may be able to offer extra help while she is there.

    I hope this can be of some help to you.  Good luck to you and your daughter, and please do feel free to post again and let us know how she is getting on.

Children
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