Paranoia

I can feel like everyone is looking at me and judging me in certain situations. I’m usually okay just out and about or if I have my uniform on for work, but parties, pubs, restaurants, shops, anywhere with more than a few people I begin to feel like everyone is staring at me because of how I look, or move. Then I feel like the way I walk or talk is very awkward and I have to concentrate hard to not lose myself in my head. Written down this makes me look completely unhinged, but it’s always been like this for me. 

Yes, I think this is a bit similar to how I feel. But for me it's partly that I don't feel awkward in my own mind , I feel like I'm fine in my own head, so I don't get why others look at me askance as if I look really weird. I've been told it might be my expression or body language/the way I walk. But they all feel like they're the same as others to me, so I don't get what others are seeing. ️

Have you got anyone in your life who you could trust to be honest with you and tell you if you do anything unusual? 
I talk to myself out loud in public sometimes but I know I’m doing it. When I feel I’m being looked at by other people I find I don’t walk easily and I can feel exactly what my hands and arms are doing and it becomes something I think about rather than automatic, urgh. 

Have you got anyone in your life who you could trust to be honest with you and tell you if you do anything unusual? 
I talk to myself out loud in public sometimes but I know I’m doing it. When I feel I’m being looked at by other people I find I don’t walk easily and I can feel exactly what my hands and arms are doing and it becomes something I think about rather than automatic, urgh. 

My brother always talked to himself and even got attacked in Birmingham. He took up martial arts and the last I heard was a brown belt. He still talks to himself, people still laugh but he ignores them - because at the dojo he learned self control and never to attack anyone. So I consider him the better person.

Hmm it’s hard to work out. Once someone shouted very loudly at me ‘dungarees!’ But I think they were high on something. 

When I have asked friends, they just give vague answers. I'm not obviously different, physically, in fact very boring looking ,and without wishing to pass any judgement I see many people who look very much more 'unusual' than me eg dyed hair or unusual clothes  but don't see them being glanced at as I am. So I don't know what the key factor is, it feels illogical